Saturday, December 15, 2007

Is It Weird That I'm Kind of Excited?

What do Scarlett Johansson, Drew Barrymore, Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, and Jennifer Connolly all have in common? They're all in He's Just Not That Into You: The Movie , coming to a theater near you August 2008. Six degrees of separation just got a little easier, y'all!

Thursday, December 6, 2007

L train...again.

my friend and i were talking about 30 days of night, which she'd seen and i hadn't, so you joined the conversation to posit your opinion that it was the worst movie you'd ever seen. for that, i respect you, and also, you are cute. and yes, we were on the damn L train, and yes, you got off at damn Bedford. maybe next time we can see a movie with some artistic merit.


UPDATE: I got one response since posting this a few hours ago.

I hope you find the boy you seek and live artistically and happily ever after. I'm more of an analytical dude myself. I like movies where people die, and things go BOOM! Your friend may be more my style. I have included a bit about myself below:

  • SM
  • 28 y/o
  • 6'2
  • thin (think runway model-type, yes I use to model)
  • 150 pounds
  • Yorkie owner
  • very metro (although I hate labels)
  • Evanescence is my favorite band
  • I don't own an Xbox 360 or any other video game system
  • I"m well read if Linux, and hacking books count
  • My idea of a good time is going outside and having a snowball fight!
A couple of comments:
- so he's an analytical, action movie-loving, former model who writes code and has snowball fights? got a lot going on there, bucko.
- "yes I use to model" - thanks for a) the confirmation and b) the lack of punctuation
- what's the line between "metro" and "very metro"? price of hair product? height of faux-hawk? skinniness of jeans?
- I like that Xbox is specifically called out.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Not Really a Missed Connection

...but amusing nonetheless. There is so much to say about this, I don't even know where to begin.

Original Craigslist Post (Chicago):

Can you be ON CALL . notice as a ROLL PLAYER at building residence ? I'd like a few 'Well intentioned' and full-figured, energetic girls or guys who WILL occupy their minds and do TASKS in a maintenace/storage room. I NEED to CREATE a diversion for a problem going on and at the same time you'd be helping with cleaning. In need for folks to Create a Distraction in the confines of VISIBILITY to steer attention This is not a HARD task ! I want some folks who can be DISCRETE, WATCHFUL and Role play for this temporary situation.

Tell me about yourself?

Be in shape please and ready to listen up and FOLLOW directions for short term task!

Let me know. Better info to be excahnged by phone once some positive 'fits' are made.

Frankie’s Email #1:


I am wondering if you can give me some more information about the role play gig. I am very well-versed in improv and am a hard worker. Let me know some more information!

Response #1:

HI Frankie. This is Genuine. Thanks for writing. It's to help devise a potential diversion for possible candalizer trouble maker in building. This is not too much brain surgery.

I need two things: A. somebody who can haul boxes or organize a stgorage room. B. somebody who can watch for people, people(s) who own a certain car. drive out.

Pretty simplistic but tight times, and only TWO or THREE hour convenient shifts.

You interested? Would you like me to call you , or vice versa?

Frankie’s Email #2 (Sent from a different address):


I read your ad and I think I would be perfect for your gig.

- 2 years of diversion creating experience
- Talented roll player; studied with Second City Improv
- Great cleaning skills; worked for Merry Maids for 6 months
- Knows how to follow directions
- Extremely discreet; worked as assistant to private investigator

I would love to hear more about the position!

Response #2:

Yeah I work part-time for MSI agency.I. Thanks for writing. Something genuine of a reply now I think. You probably have a Perc Card than. I need some maintenance, moving boxes in a storage room, organization and for somebody to keep a lookout..

Just as the Fine print tried to depict. Not too muh though in it. The more fit and organized you are the better. Of course, being a female detective's assistsnt puts you in a better position. Tell me more. Where are you located in Chicagoland ? Are you working for a detective now ? Jon

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

$700 sexy roomate situation hot man for a hot lady

Looking to move in with a girl and split the rent. Share cooking, cleaning, laundry, and each other. 23 white male honest and integral, carpenter young man who knows how to make and do things, including jewelry making, furniture and construction, and how to please a woman and make you orgasm. Ideally you are between 20 and 30, goal oriented, healthy, fit, fun, cute, height and weight proportionate, non smoker, and without too much drama or baggage. I can handle some, it doesn’t scare me, but its not my cup of tea. You must have stable income, I do, and I don’t want to be paying your bills for you or vice versa. IAM a great man to have around, a good lover, and I won't steal your stuff. I am willing to pay half your rent and utilities up to 700, I am flexible, but I would like it to be around that or less. Remember, I'm looking to move into your space and pay half your rent, and we share your bed, and each other.

There are so many, many things to say about this ad. Feel free to make use of the comment button below.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

unmissed connection

you asked me whether the trains leave regularly all night long, which i then explained to you, but then you went on to say that you were going home from work (an activity i assume you do fairly often), so when you asked for my number, i wasn't that surprised. you work in advertising...let's hope you're not a douche.

"1 ticket for Margot at the Wedding" on Thanksgiving - w4m

Some embarrassing subway confusion foiled my Thanksgiving plans and, on my way home, I impulsively decided to stop at the Angelika to see "Margot at the Wedding". You were in front of me in line and we each bought one ticket and then had to wait in the lobby until the theater opened. I have reddish-brown hair and blue eyes and was wearing a blue scarf and black coat. You had brown hair and were wearing some sort of dark jacket and I got the impression that you may have been cute but I was too shy to take a good look. Maybe we can meet for coffee to discuss how absurdly depressing the movie was.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

how to find us on google

Sometimes I like to see how people are finding our site via Google. Most of the time, the keywords remind us of the good times and bad we've had while documenting our shenanigans:

super hot gym guys
glistening abs
pirate craigslist m4w
"i just have gay experiences sometimes."

Others give us insight into the psyche of the searcher:

reasons why i'm still single
"pant, pant" sounds made in gym
cutest trains

And still others make us say, "What the hell?"

how to pronounce muscadet
koala underwear
sounds you speed me brown brown

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

blue and white mystery object (w4m)

To the guy riding with a huge cloth and wire pre-sculpture on the very crowded blue line this afternoon: I'm impressed with your inventive strategy to drum up interest in your artwork - people in the car were craning their necks to see what the hell that thing was. But where can we see the finished work? Maybe you should email me, or next time add some kind of informational sign...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

how i love thee, mass transit

me: hapless white girl being fallen over upon by a sleeping/drunk jersey dude
you: cute black dude across the aisle laughing hysterically at my predicament.
where: downtown C or E train (I don't remember which) from 34th st

i didn't know what to do about the sleepy guy next to me until you gave me the humorous suggestion of putting my bag on my shoulder for him to use as a pillow. we had a nice laugh. i was pretty embarrassed to have to sit next to him, but i felt like i had an ally if i had to pop someone in the face at some point. fortunately, it didn't come to that!

Needed: Ponytail Widgets for Macs

I received a text from my trainer late last night. Of course being so late, I assumed it was an emergency situation (last minute cancellation, missed know something related to our basic gym interactions). I opened the text and this is all it said:

11:30 pm 11/19/07
From : Trainer

Ponytail got a haircut!

Seriously is this a late night text situation? Ok the answer is undoubtedly "yes" cause the haircut could make or break him, but there must be a better way to transmit this information. Then I remembered the conversation I had with a good friend the night before about "widgets" and the need for more specific ones- like "tomato widgets;" you know so you can keep abreast of the state of your local heirloom tomatoes. Just an idea we thought of, but I think it could be big...huge! We could have corresponding t-shirts as well (obviously).

So think about it and get back to me, because this is most certainly a group project.

Friday, November 16, 2007

More G-Chat Goodness

Alex: are you working today?
Frankie: yup
Frankie: testing some stuff
Frankie: learnin about shingles
Alex: the disease?
Alex: or the roof things?
Alex: are those even on roofs?
Alex: is 'roofs' the correct pluralization?
Alex: i am digging myself into a hole in this convo
Frankie: disease
Frankie: and yes
Frankie: rooves?
Frankie: that's crazytalk
Alex: that didn't look right
Frankie: and then there's the whole issue of how to pronounce it
Frankie: which i don't even want to get into
Alex: no way
Alex: i could never be a roofer
Alex: because they probably have to say that word CONSTANTLY
Frankie: "thanks for calling roofco"
Frankie: "we fix roo… ves"
Alex: i would just say "we will fix your roof or even several of them if you have more than one"
Alex: same reason that i could never be a rural planner
Frankie: seriously
Frankie: who can say that?
Alex: its literally the worst word
Frankie: just say 'anti-urban'
Alex: but that sounds like maybe it's racist, like you're saying "anti-turban"
Alex: which doesn't actually even mean anything
Frankie: lol
Frankie: i don't cotton to your headgear, sir
Alex: haha
Frankie: anyway
Frankie: i went on an internet date last night
Alex: whatttt
Alex: why are we talking for like 15 minutes about how to pronounce roofs???
Frankie: i was waiting for an opening
Alex: omg
Alex: how did it go?
Frankie: it was ok
Frankie: he was cool
Frankie: he was like an on-paper boyfriend
Alex: oh man
Alex: those are the worst in a way
Frankie: like, "hey, you like improv! and you worked at a company that literally sounds exactly like the one i used to! and we have the same sense of humor!"
Frankie: "you listen to this american life"
Alex: what??
Alex: he sounds great!
Alex: oh i guess that's the point
Frankie: he was!!
Frankie: but i did not want to make out with him at all
Frankie: good convo though
Frankie: re: books, movies, etc
Alex: well that's good!
Alex: maybe a new friend
Frankie: right
Frankie: but then i did the thing which i always do
Frankie: and just sort of ran away at the end to avoid some sort of awkward goodbye
Frankie: like, "oh, look, it's the L... peace out"
Frankie: [run]
Alex: welcome to.... what i do every day of my life that i'm on a date
Alex: which is not very many days
Frankie: but then of course it is awkward anyway
Alex: of course
Alex: especially if he gets on the train with you and you have to pretend you don't see him because you already said goodbye
Alex: aw-kward!!
Frankie: LOL
Frankie: i tried explaining the on-paper boyfriend concept to my friend will from high school
Frankie: boys do not get the on-paper thing
Frankie: he was like, "wait, what's the problem?"
Frankie: and i was like, "you're a dude"
Alex: well
Alex: i don't know if i'd get an on-paper girlfriend
Alex: because i think i've been a good on-paper girlfriend for people before
Alex: and i was like "i don't get it, go out with me"
Frankie: i am a perpetual on-paper girlfriend
Alex: we need to abolish this

After a brief silence....the Missed Connection returns...for me at least

commodities grocery - 8 pm - bright blue eyes and frozen pizza banter - w4m - 25

you: dirty blonde curly hair, camel jacket, headphones and bright blue eyes
me: ponytail with headbands, blue wool coat, straight from the gym & lookin' a hot mess

You found me kneeling before the freezer scouring through the Amy's frozen pizzas. You needed to get by and looked down at me. I scrambled to my feet, pressing myself against the glass so you could squeeze by. "Those things are addictive," you said. "Tell me about it!" I said, the evidence in hand, "You start with one and then it's just a downward spiral." You laughed. You were so cute. You wandered off and I went for coffee, but couldn't find the coffee bags. I turned the corner and saw you getting granola or nuts out of the bulk section (adorable). "Do you know where they keep the coffee bags?" I asked. You pulled your headphones down and said, "Sorry I don't drink coffee." "Oh!" I exclaimed as if shocked. "I guess the pizza is all we will share," I said as I turned the other corner. You followed behind me and as you walked away, you said "We'll always have Paris." I laughed. By the time I made it to the checkout, you were gone. I wish you could have stayed to chat. If we share the love of the same organic frozen pizzas and an affinity for old movies, then I am sure there is more to explore. And if not, we could at least exchange recipes.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

He's Just Not That Into You and Now Everyone Knows It

Look what else popped up on ye olde internets today!

I found this blog awhile back while doing research to make sure no one else had created a blog with the same idea as ours and I've been an avid, although silent, reader ever since. The writer of this blog posted a dating ad on craigslist, received 119 responses, went on almost 30 dates, and has written about all of them. Some were weird, some were sad, some were funny and none of them really panned out but it's been interesting to follow her through these experiences.

Anyway, she wrote this today:
"It all finally just clicked. They are just not that into me."

I am so glad that she's had this realization because some of these posts have pained me, to tell you the truth. Some of these men were exhibiting classic "he's just not that into you" signs and yet she would message them the second she got home from a date, would invite them out after they blew her off, etc. Today's post prompted a huge sigh of relief.

I understand that a lot of people think it's disempowering to admit that someone may not be into them but I actually think it's the opposite. To be able to say "I'm a fantastic person with a full, rewarding life and I'm not going to waste my energy on someone who doesn't get that" is incredibly empowering for me. It allows me to make my life about me and about the people who care about me and not about the people who don't return my phone calls.


Ok, I know that this is just boring now but Little Napoleon just texted me AGAIN. I am really tempted to use the "This is Rodrigo, who are you trying to reach?" tactic. Although that will spell out certain doom for my email inbox. Curses!

From: LN
To: Alex

Hey. Hows ur schedule this week? Want to finally meet up?

Do You Think T-Rex Reads This Blog?

!!Update!! Part Fin

This shall be the last installment of the Ponytail Gym Guy saga. The collective readership (and fellow bloggers) can breathe a sigh of relief because I know you are tired of hearing about him. I am even a little tired (of hearing about him that is- not of drooling over him- that has yet to seem passé). Anyway, after our non-awkward banter by the water fountain, our relationship has only continued to flourish as we saw each other twice over the weekend- Friday night and Sunday afternoon. He approached me both times making me feel like any sense of residual creepiness on my end had long since subsided. We talked about what we did for Halloween, weekend plans and general chit chat. It was fine conversation, but I couldn't help hearing the words of my good friend Cheri in my head as we talked (Cheri: Have fun, talk with him and see what comes of it- but just think to yourself - 'Would this guy be nearly as interesting to talk with if he weren't so hot?'). My friends are basically brilliant. In short, he probably wouldn't be as interesting, however I do not feel the need to make this anything more than what it is- a gym crush with occasional non-awkward banter. I mean it's a story as old as time really. Girl sees Boy from across the room. Girl writes missed connection on craigslist. Boy finds it and emails Girl super hot pic. Girl approaches Boy hawkwardly in "business caz." Girl and Boy banter at the gym. Girl continues to fantasize about Boy, but decides he probably wouldn't be as interesting without the hot bod.

So there you have it. The finale to a long and treacherous journey. It's been fun, but it's time to put Ponytail to bed. Figuratively that is. If that actually happens than I will reopen this topic for discussion...obviously.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Your New Bible

In response to various recent conversations about men who are "in a relationship", "bad with email", "hindu", etc., I decided that it's time for Misconnecting in the City's first Book Club Brunch. My thought is that we all read the same relationship-related book and then talk about how true/hilarious/offensive it is. I ordered six copies of That Book That Everyone Loves to Hate Until They Finally Read It and Then Are Converted.

That's right, the Bible.

No, not that Bible. This Bible.

Anyway, your copies are in the mail and will be here in a week or two. You can probably read the whole thing one day while your nails are drying, it's a very quick read. And then we can dish about it! On the blog! Together! Genius!

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

We've Officially Crossed Some Sort of Line

Text message I just received from Little Napoleon:



Two lessons can be gleaned from this, folks:
  1. Do not ever give out your phone number to anyone.
  2. Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be That Guy.
  3. Review lessons 1 and 2 as needed.

cute L train man

you asked me on the L train at 6th ave how you could get to 14th and lexington, and i was so taken aback by your dapperness/attractiveness that i didn't really tell you the whole story of how you should get to where you were trying to go. i hope you didn't get lost. shoes that cool don't deserve to get lost.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Alex Has a Crush

From: Sasha
To: Alex
hey is that guy you love a facebook friend?


From: Alex
To: Sasha
That guy I have a crush on from school? No. We have, like, the MOST professional relationship in history, i.e. he is never going to be interested in me.


From: Sasha
To: Alex
oh just should find him on facebook and poke him! then he'll love you.


From: Alex
To: Sasha
I'm kind of afraid to do that because our relationship is TOTALLY professional/serious at this point and he just seems really cool/mature and he might be like "wtf" and then it will be weird in meetings.

Maybe I could just add everyone from our group. Then they will all think I have crushes on them!


From: Sasha
To: Alex
if he is in your network can't you see his profile anyway? i mean you need to see what kind of "cool" you are up against!


From: Alex
To: Sasha
i was just about to write "i am so sure that he is not on facebook" but then i looked him up and he totally is! why have i never tried this before??

so… he's straight but it doesn't say if he's in a relationship or not.

but it says his religion is hindu so that probably means i'm out. dammit!!


Alex: ok it is officially ridic that we are not having this convo on gchat
Alex: he is SO cute
Alex: now i am going to be really tempted to facebook friend him but it is pointless
Alex: (a) i will then feel awkward in our next mtg
Alex: and (b) he will NEVER LOVE ME
Sasha: it is not pointless
Sasha: (a) he will see how awesome, interesting and funny you are
Sasha: and (b) he will see how awesome and funny i am
Sasha: cause i need a back-up
Sasha: friend him with a cute, subtle message
Alex: yes we are awesome at subtle
Sasha: i know!
Sasha: well we can be
Sasha: ok i can't be
Alex: i have a mtg with him tomorrow so maybe i'll dress really cute and try to be witty and then follow up with a friend request
Sasha: yes! do it the old fashioned way
Alex: i love how whenever you're reading the myspace/facebook profile of someone you might have a crush on
Alex: you will skim their interests section for anything that looks vaguely promising
Sasha: oh for sure
Sasha: i totally did that with ponytail
Sasha: i was like "oh, he loves heavy metal-- he must be passionate and intense"
Alex: ha!
Sasha: ok we should figure out what you're going to wear tomorrow for the study group
Sasha: i'm thinking a sarong and a bindi
Alex: i should be like "hey, guys! i mean NAMASTE"
Alex: no but seriously do you think he's married?
Sasha: no
Alex: i love how you have an opinion on this
Alex: or that i expect you to
Sasha: he might be betrothed but there are totally ways around that
Alex: he's liberal
Alex: according to facebook
Sasha: so you two are basically soulmates
Alex: i wish you could hear his dreamboat accent
Alex: i don't think i can go back to americans after this
Alex: they just seem so passe
Sasha: you probably won't
Alex: omg WHAT
Alex: not to you
Alex: to facebook
Alex: wait my mind is blown
Alex: i am seriously in a state of shock right now!
Sasha: what?
Alex: am i doing the math right that if he was born in 1986 that he is YOUNGER than me??
Alex: by like FOUR YEARS
Alex: that's impossible
Sasha: oh jesus- he is a baby
Alex: what year was i born in?
Alex: i thought he was like 30
Sasha: just do the math
Sasha: 1986-2007
Alex: OMG
Sasha: oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: maybe he faked his bday
Alex: by accident
Alex: or on purpose
Alex: for some mysterious reason
Sasha: or maybe he's one of those young genius types
Sasha: you must have him
Sasha: now you've got the upper hand
Alex: slash what?????
Sasha: slash you have years of experience
Sasha: he can't contend
Alex: omg
Alex: i cannot be intimidated by a fucking TWENTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD
Alex: because i am the cool older woman
Alex: i mean not older older
Alex: hot older
Sasha: yeah and you are totally a sex goddess
Alex: he's probably still a virgin!
Alex: ok maybe not
Sasha: yes you can show him the ways of the womanly body
Alex: maybe i should include that in my facebook message?
Sasha: we need to be a tv show
Alex: seriously
Alex: we could just set up a camera on our gchat window
Alex: and play music over it
Sasha: so abstract
Sasha: i am totally glad g chat saves everything so we can write our book based off of this one convo
Alex: oh come on there have been others
Alex: cue the montage
Alex: i'm not sure how we'll deal with montages on our gchat tv show
Sasha: just music playing while it pans from you to me in front of our respective comps, laughing
Sasha: and then crying
Sasha: and then laughing again
Alex: and then laughing through tears
Alex: and then crying from laughing
Sasha: yes
Sasha: brilliant

!!Update!! Part Deux

So who thought there would be follow up after the "Hawkward Banter of '07?" Not I! But lo and behold, I saw Ponytail Gym Guy on Saturday afternoon at our favorite hang out: uhhh- the gym. I arrived in my normal gym attire this time (opted out of the "business caz" as this is not really appropriate when I have actual workout intentions). The only other slight difference was I had just gotten my hair done, so there was some extra sass in my strut. I got on my favorite machine and within 10 minutes, Ponytail arrived. I could tell he arrived not only by the wash of plaid that crossed my vision, but the fact that my heart rate monitor that had just read 130 beats per minute shot up to 155 within a matter of seconds. He did his typical parade up and down the stairs to taunt me and the rest of the general straight female/gay male viewing public. When he finally came back downstairs, I made a point to be less discreet about my stare downs. I figured he might as well know I'm still totally interested slash I wanted to make sure there was no question of who I was. I really wasn't sure if he remembered what I looked like and I figured I had nothing to lose at this point. After a full hour of working out and no sign of recognition, I assumed our relationship had reached its limit and it was the end of the road for us. It had been a good ride. I talked to my trainer for a few minutes and she tried to encourage me to go back over to him and start up another conversation. Now although she has nothing but good intentions, I just couldn't bring myself to approach him again. Although he had taken a chance by responding to my MC, I had put myself out there enough times and it was his turn to step up (that is if he was interested). I went to the basement to change and when I came back up, I stopped at the juice bar to grab a drink. While it was being made, I turned around to get a drink from the water fountain. When I turned back, I was pleasantly surprised to see his (gorgeous) face. He approached me and said, "Hi," and all the necessary (re)introduction talk ensued. We stood there talking for probably 10 minutes- no awkward pauses, no strange Cirque du Soleil moves. He did lift his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face a few times. But this time I was prepared and shielded my eyes from the "light," which is his bod. Around this time a gym employee approached (or should I say encroached) on our convo. He had been the one that signed me up for my membership and although he is super nice and I usually like talking with him, this was not the time! (Hello why are men oblivious to these things?) However Ponytail did not walk away, he stayed there while Membership Man and I joked for a few. He was integrated into the convo in a matter of minutes, but still he could have left at this very volatile moment. He stayed though...he stayed. That of course led me to believe he was interested in continuing our chat. And yes when Membership Man left, we continued the non-awkward banter. He asked me if I had plans for Halloween and I told him what I was doing. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he didn't have plans....hmmm, interesting. Should I invite him? Should I play it cool? Was he just making conversation? So many thoughts running through my head- oh and I totally forgot about my smoothie that's been ready forever! I didn't invite him and maybe I should have in the moment, but I did email him a brief message when I got home and included the info for the event. Of course I don't really expect him to show, because he will probably want to hang with his own friends on a holiday. But this definitely opens the door for a future night out together- but the ball is totally in his court. I have done what I can. It would be nice to see him on Halloween though, but only because he said he was dressing up as Tarzan. Wowzer! Ponytail + vines + hair down - shirt = Best Halloween Ever!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Variations on a Theme

So maybe it's the crispness of the Fall starting to seep in through the gutters, or maybe I have felt extra frisky, but this has been a busy week for me and the MC's....

14th St/8th Ave Station- Tuesday morning- 9:20 am- black jeans and brown hair - w4m- 25

you: tall and slender with a black t-shirt and black jeans walking from the L to the A
me: girl with green galoshes and a huge bag

I was checking you out all the way from the L to the uptown A. It was the only time I wished for a longer walk between trains. I sped up to meet your quick pace but inadvertently passed you too far. I looked back and you had taken a seat on the bench. I walked back towards you thinking perhaps I could lure you with my sexy "waiting for the train casually" stance, but then I saw Bennett and was completely distracted. I ran over to say hello to her and when we hugged, I looked down at you and we finally locked eyes. I would have loved to chat, but a girl cannot deny her bff in a chance subway encounter. Hopefully you'll be taking this route again soon and if you do, look for the blonde scouring for her future man.

Terminal 5 - 9 pm - Wednesday night- a total cutie with a beanie (and maybe a tie-dye shirt)- w4m - 25

you: cutie with long brown hair and a beanie at the Shins concert
me: blonde with black top, jeans and a plethora of headbands

You were obviously thrilled to be at this concert and you quietly mouthed the words to every song. It was pretty adorable. Your smile was contagious and I would have crept up closer, but you were with another girl (maybe your gf...hopefully your sister) I was with another guy, but just a friend! Maybe it was all the pot in the air, but something about you was working for me. After it was all over, we were corraled into a tight corridor and I tried to catch your eye. We locked eyes for a moment, but the next thing I knew I was shoved into the t-shirt booth and you were gone. Maybe we could meet at my place to listen to some tunes...or at least hit up another concert.

2nd Ave and 9th Street- Thursday night- 11:45 PM - a semi-crazy on the town- w4m- 25

you: the semi-crazy/possible homeless guy who dances with his belly exposed usually in front of "Love saves the Day" or "Pommes frites"
me: the semi-intoxicated blonde with new fall boots, cropped jacket and a sassy strut

I had just said goodbye to a friend when I turned onto 9th Street. You looked me up and down and immediately said "Oh my fuckin god, you are so beautiful." As I passed I laughed and then turned back to say, "Thanks....nice." I don't know what to make of this but I definitely think it was the best street come-on I've heard in a while. We may not have a future together, but that line was the perfect ending to a perfect night.

I don't find these posts...These posts find me!

We met for a drink and you caught me making out with a man - m4w - 25 (Upper East Side)

I'm sorry. You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me. Next thing I knew we were making out and you came back and stormed out of the bar. I just want you to know that I really liked you and I'm not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes. You are a beautiful girl and I'm glad that you came on date with me. I would like very much to try again. This time I will give all my love to you.

There are so many things to question in this post. Namely the transition between the sentences "You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me." and "Next thing I know we were making out...." What?! And of course my favorite sentence of all time in a missed connection "...I'm not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes." Ah yes, what woman in New York hasn't heard this sentiment? But believe me- do not fall for this! It is mere trickery!

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Little Napoleon Strikes Again

Little Napoleon texted me again yesterday, asking if I wanted to meet up after work.

Ok, let's review.

I posted a missed connection ad for someone who was clearly not him. He responded. We made plans to hang out, those plans were foiled. That was five weeks ago. Since that time, he has emailed me twice, left me one voicemail, and sent me two text messages.

I know that the guys out there might be thinking, "Have a heart, let the guy know what's up!" I did let the guy know what's up. It's called not returning any form of communication for five weeks. That is what's up. In my experience, if you try to be a grown-up and say "Hey, I'm just not that into you" what the dude actually hears is "Please continue calling me and coming by my house to put mix cds in my mailbox for the next eight months."

Anyway, so my mind was blown.

And THEN, just when I thought my mind could not be blown ANY FURTHER, I get a text from him again today asking if I want to see a movie with him tonight.

I cannot comprehend what would drive someone to this bizarre level of masochism.

Monday, October 22, 2007


So after more than a week of not seeing Gym Guy after he responded to my MC, I finally saw him last Thursday night. However he was working out with other people (including a personal trainer), so I couldn't decide if I should interrupt or not. Obviously I did, otherwise there would be no post and no hilarity to regale to our reader(s???). So after stalling brilliantly by the water fountain, I finally walked right up to him and introduced myself. What ensued was some hawkward banter (he was super "hot," I was super "awkward")

me: Hi, I'm Sasha. I am the one...I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a creepy stalker....(Oh god why did I say that- the only 2 words I was NOT supposed to say were "creepy" and "stalker" and I just said them- next to each other!)
him: No, it's ok. I'm sorry I didn't know who you were right off the bat. (What? He's apologizing? He's thoughtful and gorgeous? Now I'm just pissed!)
me: Well I don't know why you wouldn't remember! Only like 8,000 people work out here! (Is that my attempt at a joke?)
him: What? Oh yeah, right. (Well that went over well- I think I confused him.)
me: So umm... (Oh god he just lifted up his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, so I saw his glistening abs in the moonlight - ok I added the moonlight part- they were florescent lights, but he still worked it and I was disoriented for a good 5 seconds.)
The next thing I know, he is being shown some bizarre move on a swinging weight machine thingy and he is going to attempt it. He goes over and proceeds to do some move that I think I saw in Cirque du Soleil. He bent all the way down pulling the weighted cords with him (flexing his arms, his thighs and abs- oh my) and then proceeded to bound 4 feet in the air, landing on the other side of the machine. I didn't know what was going on, except that he was obviously trying to work out and I was obviously in the way. He recovered and I went back to say bye.
Well that looked easy!
him: (trying to catch his breath) What? (Oh my god, could I be more awkward? No, no I couldn't)
me: Umm...I mean that was intense. I better let you get back to it. I just wanted to say hi.
(pant, pant) Umm.....yeah (pant, pant). Great. I'll see you around the gym.
me: Ok, well have fun, bye.

And thus ended the Hawkward Banter of '07. I figure no matter what happens, I am glad that I posted the MC, responded to his response, and mustered up the courage to speak to him in person. Maybe this was a round about way of doing things, but I think it's a step in the right direction. And even if we never speak again, I still get to check him out at the gym, so it's a win-win for me.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Another reason not to be deterred by labels

Hot MILF in the GYM early this morning - m4w - 42

You looked hot this morning. Those tight work out pants really become you. I helped you do some of the machines. You complained about me pushing you to hard. It will be fun tonight though. You know why? Because after 20+ years of marriage I still find you to be as hot as you were at 22 yrs old. See you when the lights go out tonight. And that is a Connection that will not be Missed.

Cute just called and it's handing over it's definition to you.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007


the cute is you.

the awkward is me.

we were riding the F train downtown - I got on at 57 street and kept glancing at you, a tall, clean-cut, bespectacled gentleman in a blue patterned buttondown. i thought i caught you looking at me in my purple dress, wrestling with my orange coat a couple of times, but that's probably wishful thinking (or you were thinking, "she is having a really difficult time wrangling that coat"). i'd like to think that if i'd gotten off my ipod earlier, or you'd gotten off at west 4th when i did, i would have talked to you, but that's probably not the case. thus - the awkward. c'est moi.

Best post I've seen in awhile

(This of course does not include posts from our contributers)

october 13th- you: eating spaghetti - w4m (East Village)

you: eating spaghetti
me: walking past you on the street. watchin you eat spaghetti.
lets get married or touch boobs

(if he doesn't see this, it's a damn shame!)

Friday, October 12, 2007

The Gym Guy is on to Me!

So After countless hours of fawning and doting and finally posting an MC on Tuesday, he found it and responded:

To: Me
From: Him
Subject: This is Definitely Me

Hi, I'm very flattered by your post, but I really don't recall who you are. Please send a picture or approach me next time we are in the gym together. Even if I am 'in the zone', I like meeting new people.

Gym Guy

PS. Your post kinda made my day. I tried to send a picture but it was too big for craigslist to process. If you reply with your real email address I will send a photo to confirm I am me.

***Ok there are so many things to be said about him responding-

1) One of course is that this confirms that he reads MC's (potentially looking for himself)- minus points.

2) However I do the same thing plus I blog about it- double minus points for me

3) He used a "p.s." at the end of his note- triple cute points (slash possible gay points- I'm sorry people but I have to face reality)

4) My post "made his day"- self-esteem boost slash I am a little embarrassed- double points minus 3 for me

So all in all what I am basically saying is I am going to write him back but I am totally nervous, because if my identity is revealved and it's a disappointment, I might have to switch gyms.

pps- What does he mean when he says he "loves meeting new people?" (meet = sex or meet = possible long term-lasting relationship...I think I am up for either.....)

Holey Underwear and Other Reasons I'm Still Single

A few weeks ago, Bennett had a sort of missed connection.

We were at a bar and the guy asked her if she had a cigarette (she didn't) and some light banter ensued. We walked away, championing Bennett's classic MC. The guy was reasonably cute, there was flirtation, they had a moment.

Anyway, this was a few weeks ago and I'd forgotten about the exchange but it came up in conversation tonight over drinks. Bennett admitted that she never wrote the missed connection.

"I think I analyze these too much," she said. "I think, 'Do I even want to date this guy?' I talk myself out of it."

I realized tonight, curled up in bed with a book, half a brownie, and my frumpiest pajamas, that I talk myself out of it, too. I've dated a fair amount and I've had two medium-to-long term relationships but I've been single now for well over a year and I'm really, really used to it. I like the fact that I don't have to shave my legs or share my bed or miss out on girls' night. I like that I can wear frumpy pajamas to bed and underwear with holes in them. I'm used to having my own space.

I'll admit that there have been times during this project (especially lately, in case you haven't noticed my extreme lack of missed connection posting) when I've met someone, had a moment, and then thought (with my holey underwear and Sex and the City marathons in mind): "Do I even want to date this guy?"

Of course, you can wear holey underwear in a solid, comfy relationship and some guys actually like Sex and the City but the general premise remains: when you're in a relationship, there is someone else there.

Anyway, a lot of you are in relationships and, despite all of this, if you're in a good relationship you know the truth. The truth is that at the end of the day when you tally up all the stained sweatshirts and the pints of Ben & Jerry's and the personal space and all the mutual support and the future-planning and the late night cuddling: You win.

But maybe I'm still not ready.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Spotted (again): Man with Ponytail and Awesome t-shirt collection

Crunch Gym - 8 pm - a tight bod (and yes a ponytail) - w4m - 24

you: mid-20's with plaid shorts, elephant t-shirt, bulging biceps, and a tight, tight....ponytail
me: blonde, light brown sports tank, black gym pants, and a headband

I saw you the moment I walked inside the gym last night and thought 'Where have you been all week?' You weren't wearing your standard tie-dye ensemble, but I appreciate the variety of kitschy/dorky/awesomely-hot t-shirt options. You pull it off very well (which is what I would like to do- hey!) I got onto a machine behind you to get a good view. But once a position was free in line with you, I bolted to get closer. I must have copped a look every 30 seconds, but you were obviously in the "zone." Once you were done, you went to the treadmill and then paraded up and down the stairs most likely just to taunt me. When you came back down to leave you were in jeans and you looked so good. I am obviously aware that I know nothing about you, but you seem very...skilled and agile. Maybe you could give me a few pointers- or at least be my spotter.

If At First You Don't Succeed...

Remember Curly (alias: Little Napoleon)?

He wrote me back the day after our failed meeting and said that he couldn't find me in the crowd and asked if I wanted to try again the next night. I wrote him back saying that I was real busy but maybe some other time. I was nice but intentionally vague in a way that was intended to convey that I was making an excuse to help him save face. He emailed the next week to see if things had slowed down and I didn't respond. He never wrote me again.

I was talking with some friends recently about the phenomenon of The Guy Who Never Lets Go. We all know this guy. You go on one date and then never return another phone call... six months later, you're still hearing from him once a week. It's sad, it's pathetic, it's completely bizarre-o. Unfortunately, The Guy Who Never Lets Go has a close relative known to some as The Girl Who Never Lets Go and, let's face of it, some of us are intimately acquainted with her.

But that's for another post.

Anyway, the point is that no matter how awkward, unattractive, or otherwise unsuitable a guy may be, if I blow him off and he takes the hint, he rises immeasurably in my esteem. Of course, it's a Catch-22 because of the guy tries to cash in on this newfound respect by calling me, he turns irreversibly into The Guy That My Girlfriends Mock over Brunch.

Anyway, Curly-- despite his unattractive eagerness and diminutive stature-- had earned a place in my Guys Who Actually Get It Hall of Fame.

That is, until today.

from Curly []
to Alex []
date Oct 10, 2007 10:33 AM
subject hey

Hey Alex,

we were supposed to get together the other week. Been a busy time of
year. But id still like to chill. What are you doing this week? Im
working all week. Want to get together one night after work, for real
this time? Theres a snowboard movie i kind of wanted to check out, it
ends on the 11th. Talk to you soon.

- C

Why, Curly, WHY?

I hate ignoring people but responding is obviously going to only extend this further and considering the fact that I have exchanged a total of, like, three very impersonal emails with this guy, I don't think that a full disclosure is really in order.

p.s. SNOWBOARDING movie?

Saturday, October 6, 2007

I love this series of posts

October 3rd, 8:15 pm
hot indian - w4m - 28 (streeterville)
to the hot indian at my bus stop,you not the typical indian: rugged, sexy and gorgeous. Every girl at the bus stop had their eye on you. Hope to see you again. What does it take for you to notice me?

October 5th, 8:37 pm
Who is the hot indian? - w4m - 26 (streeterville)
I keep reading about this hot India guy around streeterville. The only ones I see are the geeky or preppies that go to NW> dress the same look the same.Ofcourse the guys . Haven't seen you atypical rugged, gorgeous India guys other than in bollywood. So who is this craigslist legend?

October 5th, 10:43 pm
hot indian - w4m - 25 (streeterville)
hot indian, I know, my neighbor. Lives in my building and rides bus nuber 29. Great guy too,definetly not your typical doctor type. according to our doorman he might be taken ,have not seen him with any girls.Definetly u girls should give it a shot. He is a nice guy.

October 5th, 11:34 pm
To the Hot Indian poster (Dude)
You do realize that nobody is going to reply to your posts about yourself, right?

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Rub-A-Dub (I want this man in my Tub)

Cosmos Laundromat - 7:30 pm - a ponytail and a green laundry sack - mid-20's

you: very sexy, scruffy, long hair brown pulled back, lugging a green laundry sack
me: blonde, purple silk blouse and jeans, searching frantically for a machine

I noticed you on the street first and my heart skipped a beat when I saw you walk in my laundromat. If you can look hot picking up laundry, I know you're the man for me. You immediately went to the back to pick up your bag from the Indian man with the mean look. I scrabbled for a free machine while trying to catch another glance. You crossed back and we nearly ran into each other, then exchanged looks. I followed you to the front of the store to look for other machines. You tilted your head to look back at me. You were either into me too or thought I was following you awkwardly. Let's hope it's the former, cause I could use some good clean fun.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

To quote Feist, "Let it die."

Over two weeks ago, I decided not to respond to the hand model/magician/comedian/danny devito look-a-like's last email. He took that a sign to email me some more...

hey, how ru?! what's up? hope all is well..have a great one!




1. "ru" isn't allowed you're texting and extremely rushed. Or, you're my 15 yr old cousin.
2. ? and ! are not allowed together (period).
3. When using "cheers" in a vague attempt to convince secret love interests you are british, do not use your real email address - which they will use to look you up on myspace and discover you are from/currently residing in Long Island.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Just another Saturday afternoon in the City

Is it possible to have a missed connection with an object...?

Are you 18?

lost opp-arrrrrrrgh-tunity!

oh no! i just got home to find this from 4 hours ago in my gmail from the pirate:

Any plans tonight?
I'm planning on running tomorrow morning, so not thinking about
drinking a lot, but I had a long day and kinda feel like grabbing a

and i totally would have! at least the offer's on the table...

Friday, September 28, 2007

the waiting is the hardest part: a scene

[it is 3:15am in a New York City subway stop. a GIRL enters the deserted platform. the sign indicating the ETA of the next train reads 37 minutes. a BOY enters the platform. he looks at the sign, glances about, barrels up the stairs, then back down.]
BOY: Is that for real? Is it? Is that FOR REAL?
GIRL: I doubt it.
BOY: [with the nervous energy of a squirrel hoarding his nuts] I’m brand new! I don’t know what to do! Is that FOR REAL? Seriously? That’s when the train is coming?
GIRL: Well, one time it said the next train was in, like, 20 minutes, and it was actually only about 4. So maybe we should give it some time.
BOY: What do I do? What do I do? I’m new! I’ve only been here two weeks!
GIRL: Where are you going?
BOY: Greenpoint.
GIRL: Well, you can wait, or you can get a car. That’s pretty much it.
[they stand awkwardly for about 2 minutes.]
BOY: I’m going to make a phone call. That train comes, you yell. You just yell as loud as you can.
GIRL: I will.
[the GIRL waits another two minutes, then exits the platform and joins the BOY on the street]
BOY: You giving up?
GIRL: Yeah, I’m not going far. Are you cool to get where you’re going?
BOY: My friend called me a car. Maybe we could share?
GIRL: Well, we are going the same way.
BOY: Well, actually, no, see, my friend, she’s paying for it, and…
GIRL: Oh, this is mine. Good luck.
[they shake hands.]

He was mildly cute, but seemed like he may have had a drug problem.

to the boy with the mama and baby elephant tattoo who commiserated with me at the montrose stop about the length of time the train was taking until we both gave up and took cars - i hope you made it home safely. it's not always that crazy.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

My Two Favorite Posts From Today

If you can relate to this... - m4w - 35 (Gramercy)

I assure you I'm not a sick perverted freak. I will send you my pic, promise.

I want a girl that can appreciate being spoiled with garter belts, drinks, friendship, and all that good stuff.

If you apprecaite the beauty of garter belts and stockings, and love wearing them, we would get along so well.

I'm tall, dark, and handsome, promise.

Oh, and normal.


White Girl with Big Booty - m4w - 29

White girl with a thin face and body, but with a really big and round ass and wide hips.

Do you exist? Please contact me.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

pirate update, part 2

Turns out our friend redbeard is a pool aficionado. An excerpt from the latest missive:

Im a big pool player, Im pretty good but Im all about having fun when
I play... I play with alot of people who get upset or actually angry
if they lose or whatever - I'm totally not like that, its a game, if
I wanted to get upset at it then I'd have to call it work.
There are folks who cant play to save their life but still enjoy the
social aspect of it and have fun, and there are folks who cant play
and dont like to try...

If your one of the first perhaps a game is in order some day...

I'm not even going to address the punctuation problems. Under normal circumstances, the flagrant misuse of your/you're would mean automatic disqualification, but it's all for you, children. It's all for you.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Craigslist Waxes Poetical

Noticed some peeps getting a little more creative:

my store, the knife - m4m - 21 (West Village)

you take my breath a way ay ee ay ay ee ay

you were the saddest song in the shape of a woman... - w4w - 24

and i thought you were beautiful.
N train downtown 1:00 am


whenever i see you the rest of the day my blood feels all fizzy there, did you feel it of course not

We work together and you know I like you - m4w - 37

just give in already.

These folks get right to the point. Or, completely avoid the point.

update: pirate edition

so the pirate and i have been trading emails back and forth; a meeting has not been proposed as yet by either party, but we have had a fair amount of conversations re:
  • movies
  • his aversion to both hair and jesus christ superstar
  • gambling, including something calledthe "comp list" for atlantic city, which apparently means he is some sort of high roller
  • he sent me the link to his other graphic design website where he describes some of his work, including a screenplay that [this is not verbatim to circumvent any sort of googling mishaps] involves a battle against a robotic garbage entity gone crazy.
  • a film called zardoz which looks AMAZING(LY BAD)
when this busy week is over, maybe i will suggest this fellow and i take in a film. any ideas?

Monday, September 24, 2007

This is Not an Anthem

I consider myself to be a liberated woman.

I mean, the only way I'd ever burn a bra is if one accidentally caught fire on my curling iron but I've read Betty Friedan and Judith Butler and Bitch magazine. I can rock high heels and lipstick with the best of them but I've traveled by myself and I've lived by myself and I've spent more of my adult life single than partnered because I don't want to settle.

At brunch with a friend this weekend, I heard myself chant that familiar refrain: "I'd rather be by myself than with the wrong person." I expected her to agree but she surprised me by admitting that her last relationship caused her to question her commitment to that philosophy.

After taking a step back, I realized that she was right. As a single woman with no real prospects, it's easy for me to look at the unhealthy relationships of others and say that I'm better off but what happens when I'm in an unhealthy relationship of my own? I know so many strong, amazing women who, in the context of a relationship or a potential relationship, will put up with the most outrageous bullshit and I can't say that I'm entirely immune to this condition.

Sasha told me about a conversation she recently overheard on the street. A woman was complaining to her friend about her relationship problems and the friend responded frankly, "Hey, at least you got a man."

At least you've got a man.

At the end of the day, is that what it's all about? I've been financially independent for three years, I've backpacked across foreign continents by myself, I know how to change a light bulb and catch a spider and refill the air in my tires. I'm in law school. I'm my own knight in shining armor, why should I need a man to validate me?

But there it is. I had a moment this summer in a train station somewhere in Eastern Europe, lost and alone and rain-soaked, when I realized... I can't do this alone. Life is hard and I know I can kick ass but I can kick even more ass if I have someone to hold my purse.

What a Gem

Now you don't even have to post missed connections on missed connections. you can post potential connections. honestly, the only thing sadder and more cowardly than posting your crush is this...

Why are you girls like that - m4w - 27

I find that if I like a guy and he's not necessarily into me, it doesn't matter if I show that I like him because some guys just don't notice a girl likes them until they get pissed about another girl.

Let me put it this way: if a girl finds any excuse in the world to just be around you ("Um, hey...I had some extra paper clips, I thought you might like some"), listens to your music(they normally listen to the Crystal Method and suddenly "love" Blink 182 which just happens to be your favorite band), starts watching movies you like, eats food you like, etc....chances are pretty good that they want you. Bad. You just need to pay better attention next time around.

This is all very good, between these last 2 post i've learned and been reminded of much, women please keep the infornmation going your saving me tons in therapy fees. Now heres the dilema from what i see, i may have several friends who like, and so i might like them whats the perfect way that you ladies would like to be asked out, keep in mind where friends and i don't want the awkwardness of a rejection lol

Also, even though this says m4w, its kind of hard to figure out if the poster is male or female and what his/her sexual orientation is. Ah, craigslist.

Well, There You Go.

REQUEST for all single women taking the train tomm - m4w

Single ladies!
Tomm, we will have codes in which u indicate to us men that u are single...

For single women looking for a guy, hold a plastic bag in your left hand on the train tomm..

For older women looking for a younger guy, hold a closed NY Post in your hand with the letter Y on top of the paper...

For the freaky women, hold a white T-shirt in your right hand..

For the gold-diggers, wear a "I am a gold digger T-shirt"

Lets make this happen tomm ladies...
If successful, at least 2,000 lonely women will not be lonely tomm...

Sunday, September 23, 2007

i think this might complete some sort of triumvirate

magician? check.
juggler? check.

In response to my low-hopes post of the other day:

N writes:
not your dude
just saw your post and liked it

ok Im really hung over I was a pirate in the bar all night
gotta go back to sleep

night night

this was written at 2:09 pm, incidentally. my kind of fella, I thought. so I replied:

bar pirate? that sounds amazing. i don't even know what that would entail.
hope you're not hung over anymore.

20 minutes later:

well I went to the Renaissance fair yesterday...
and when I got back instead of going home I went to the bar.
Actually I looked more along the lines of somone out of RobinHood,
but everyone kept saying I was a pirate - so finally I just starting

ugh I actually am still hung over!!!
its pretty bad, my head is killing me.

man I wish I had a smurfs dvd...

how was RE by the way?
- Nick


Renaissance faire??? This is even better than I thought. And by "better," I mean "better for story purposes," not "oh sweet jesus I want a ren faire guy for a boyfriend."

The thing is, I investigated the domain name to which his email is attached, and it's his graphic design firm's website. His PIRATE-THEMED graphic design firm's website.

This could be very, very fruitful.

Genius... Why Haven't We Thought of This?!

Missed Connection with the girl of my dreams - w4w

She looks something like this...

So we don't even have to meet actual Missed Connections anymore? We can just post pictures of people we think are hot and then go out with all of the people who (claim to) look like that?

p.s. I think this girl looks a bit like Bennett...

a backpack full of $$$

Mondo - 2am - an animal print t-shirt and a backpack - mid-20's

you: cute, scruffy, foreign, with some seriously high socks
me: blonde, white tank top and jeans, with some seriously blinging jewelry

I don't know if it was the retro pop, the sweet smelling stench of moving bodies, or your diffident moves on the dance floor- but something about you was working for me. I couldn't think of a thing to say, but when you touched my shoulder and told me you were getting a drink- I knew I had to make the next move. When you came back, I leaned in and complimented your backpack- I like a man who comes prepared for anything. Then you said something about it containing a million dollars. (In the words of Kanye West) I'm not saying I'm a gold digger- but I would say yes if you put some of that cash towards our first date.

I Get Confused About the Express Trains

N train from Park Slope - 1am - black t-shirt - 25

you: light-colored hair, black "***** **** ****" t-shirt
me: dark hair, bloodshot blue eyes, falling asleep

We both got on the N at 9th St in Park Slope. I asked you if the train would stop near NYU. It was a long-ish ride and a nearly empty train so I might have been tempted to chat but, as you may have noticed, I was falling asleep in my seat. Maybe another time?

Sage Advice Indeed

Attn: all women who ride the subway - m4w - 32

To make things easier.Number one be observant! I find most of you are all up in your books,magazines,ipods,staring at the floor and what not.This is not conducive to meeting someone.Ok unless you happen to have a bf,hubby,having a bad day,death in the family etc.. then its ok to do that.Besides being observant there maybe a time a terrorist plots a nefarious plot and you manage to see the bag of explosives he left behind.You could become a heroine!Secondly if you do happen to notice a man checking you out and giving you a smile please smile back!! If he is not your type or happens to be a weirdo then obviously you will not look back at him.So like I said smile once then smile again ... sometimes a guy needs to be reassured that its not just his imagination or that maybe the guy that's next to him is the one getting smiled at lol lastly if time is short and both like one another then this is the place to post ! lol but if and the man are not strapped for time then once you exit the subway give him that come here look the man should follow and make convo ok? well it wont work like that most of the time buy anyways that's my suggestion to make things simple and maybe meet a great person!

I'm glad he gives an exception for a death in the family because otherwise that's harsh!

MC in the OH

Ok, I am like 87% sure this one's for a mutual friend of ours!

farmer's market at mccarren, girl from s. oh college town - m4w - 30

I was looking at tomatoes at the farmer's market, and when I looked up, I think I recognized you from A-town, OH. You are very attractive; I always thought you were. I'd love to get a coffee with you sometime, if you're interested. --Redhead Guy

Saturday, September 22, 2007

i have v. low expectations for this one.

...but I mostly just wanted to post something containing the phrase "awesome gun battles."

you: tall, red t-shirt, popcorn, soda, all alone seeing resident evil this afternoon.
me: a few rows back with my friends.

i like to take in a movie solo once in a while, too, but it seems like you would want a companion to turn to and say "HOLY SHIT!!" when a giant fireball and/or awesome gun battles occur.

i'll get the popcorn next time?

Friday, September 21, 2007

Breakin' It Down

I've been pondering (as temp work supplies ample time to do) the nature and definition of the missed connection. More specifically, when one sees a person with whom they have "missed connected" with more than once - when do you cross the line from missed connection to crush/creep stalker? And, when does the posting of a missed connection become inappropriate?

So, let us back track a bit for the sake of context.
A missed connection is:

A. Missed (verb) to hit reach, or come in contact with
2.pass by without touching

B. Connection (noun) 1.a relationship with a person, place or thing that is linked or associated with something else
8. supplier of narcotics (to follow the metaphor through, in our case, the drug is love/lust - get on board here people!)

A Crush (verb)* is defined as:

1. to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms.
2. to squeeze or pound into small fragments or particles, as ore, stone, etc.
6. to hug or embrace forcibly or strongly: He crushed her in his arms.
8. to overwhelm with confusion, chagrin, or humiliation, as by argumentation or a slighting action or remark; squelch.
9. to oppress grievously.
10. Archaic. to finish drinking (wine, ale, etc.).

*Please note, the definitions of crush turned out to be a lot worse than I expected. As an (almost) linguistics minor, I should have seen it coming.

All of this information begs the question, at what point do you stop "passing by without touching" and start "overwhelming with confusion," and is the transition even visible?

One often sees postings on CL-MC such as this one:

"TOMMY, YOU ARE CUTE. m4m - East Village.

Heyy ,just wanted to tell u that u are super cute .You are allways nice to me and every time I see you I fall in love with you .My hormons are in over drive today ,all because I spent time in your company last night...........Maybee some day we'll get to play.....Love You"

Now, this poster has poor grammar and a questionable understanding of the difference between love and lust. But, none the less, this wasn't a case of passing someone on the street, and, suddenly, they are lost the crowd. This is an on-going attraction/crush. Is it mere cowardice on the part of Tommy's paramour to post an MC?

To bring it all back around to a few very practical applications:
Will posting an MC for my barista prevent me from showing my face at the only local vegan coffee shop?
Will posting an MC for the only cute/not soul-less ad exec create awkward tension at work?
Is posting an MC for an ongoing crush/acquaintance ever appropriate? Is there ever a situation where it would elicit a positive reaction?
Does anyone ever read these things anyway? (Besides the wrist models/Napoleans we've heard from.)

I leave you with this for pure amusement. TGIF y'all.

"Ric seeks Amanda Bynes. m4w - downtown.

I know this is kinda odd,

but im looking for my future wife.
Her name is Amanda Bynes.
Hopefully she can date me
and realize that i'm
the right one for her.
I heard she lives in NY or LA.
So i wrote this to find her,
if anyone knows her real phone number or email
let me know.

xoxo for Amanda Bynes.
[I know its a longshot, but i'll try anyway.]"

Thursday, September 20, 2007

call me irresponsible

i'm a fairly responsible girl when it comes to employment. from the age of 16 to the age of 23, i worked for the same retailer based in my home state. i then worked for a large, though in its own way socially responsible, corporation and pretended to be a grown-up for a while, and then decided that sucked and hightailed it to the cit-ay. so if i ever end up in some sort of inside the actors studio-style interview situation in which i'm forced to discuss my "wacky jobs" of the past, i've got little to go on but my wild imagination and unsurpassed bullshitting* skills. until i got a job that was so loathsome that i was forced to desert, with nary a word to anyone. i was kind of hoping they'd think i died. but: there was one reason i was a little sad to leave.

three shifts, two train rides, one abandoned job
oh, Young Man at the Awful Job I Went To Exactly Three Times Before I Just Stopped Going and Never Called Or Even Texted Anyone To Let Them Know I Wouldn't Be Back. you were so earnest. we rode the train, shot the shit, flirted a little. i hoped you had a crush on me, as it seems it is so rare that i am the object of a crush.

so? did you? no more worries about that pen/company ink thing.

*i initially typed this as "bullshutting," which i think we should institute as a term for "calling someone out on their bullshitting," as in: the next time he brings up his past as a professional ballroom dancer, i'm bullshutting him the hell up.

Overheard at my Chocotini Happy Hour Table

"Wait... so the little person was your date?"

blue line blues - w4m

You smiled at me on the train this afternoon, but before I could think of a super-witty yet casual conversation starter, an older guy who smelled like stale cigarettes shoved his way in between us. This always happens to me. I mean, not specifically being jostled by old men who smoke too much - though now that I think about it, that does happen a lot on the CTA - but letting shyness get the better of me and losing the moment.

Later, at my stop, I tripped over someone's (strategically placed right in front of the doors) luggage. Yeah, I'm smooth.

you: tall guy with a reddish t-shirt and dark brown hair
me: fool with a black tank top, jeans and a ponytail

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

On the Job - wfm

In front of the Majestic yesterday around 2pm.

I was leaning on a railing, day dreaming about something, wearing a purple scarf. Caught you smiling at me as you walked by. Judging from the fact that you were wearing all black and had some kind of walky-talky thing, I think you were working.

Wish you had stopped to chat.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Curly's Last Stand

Previously on Misconnecting in the City...

Alex hears back from an unlikely Missed Connection. They plan a hot date in the produce aisle.


So remember that picture I showed you of the corner where I was supposed to meet Curly? Well, instead of looking like this:

It looked more like this:

Apparently the San Gennaro Street Fair was happening on that particular corner. The air was thick with smoke from burning corn dogs and the sidewalk was crawling with cops and Italians. I shouldered my way through the crowd, scanning the masses for curly hair and a brown t-shirt bearing a single word.

As I made my way across the street, I looked up and saw a very large, middle-aged man smiling in my direction, a giant stuffed tiger partially blocking his brown shirt. He started toward me and my heart stopped. Suddenly, he shifted the tiger under his arm to reveal a wordless t-shirt. I let out my breath as he passed.

A few moments later, I decided to walk in the direction of Curly's work, thinking I might have a better chance of running into him outside the crowd. Suddenly, a very short, pudgy guy barreled past me in a way that said "I am extremely Type A and am also wearing a very nerdy backpack."

He was also wearing a brown t-shirt.

Furthermore, one look at his mop of poorly-coiffed brown hair and my heart sank. This was neither Hot Dude from Mercer Street nor was it Also Hot Dude from MySpace Music. This was Not At All Hot Dude Who is Running to Meet Me on the Corner of Mulberry and Spring Because He is One Minute Late While Also Wearing a Very Nerdy Backpack.

Oh my god.

I decided to take a deep breath and wait another minute. Maybe that wasn't him. Surely "brown shirt and curly hair" could describe at least three guys standing on this street corner. I waited another minute.

I finally decided to make my way across the street (and the literally ten zillion people) to the park, which was our official meeting place and Little Napolean is standing right there and he definitely has some sort of word on his brown shirt and oh my god, he's on his cell phone, he's probably calling me, RUN.

And so I ran.

It took me two full blocks to realize that I am actually the biggest jerk in the tri-state area. Did I seriously just stand someone up? Because he's punctual and is concerned about proper spinal alignment? Yes, I have a huge project sitting at home that's due tomorrow but people have feelings, dammit, and you march yourself right back there, missy.

So I went back.

And he was gone.

So I went to Whole Foods.

And I bought ice cream.

Which I am eating right now.

Out of the carton.

Good night.

Foot Fetish Man Strikes Again

Ok, so a few weeks ago I was walking on 9th street near Avenue A and this completely normal-looking dude glances down as he passes me and says, "Beautiful feet." I was wearing flip-flops and would say that I have average to slightly-above-average feet.

Today, I saw this Craigslist post:

14th St. PATH - U complimented me on my feet lol - w4m - 31 (Union Square)

We were waiting on the 14th St PATH Train and you said you liked my feet then you got on the Hoboken Train. Wish I got your name.

Thanks for the compliment.

So is this guy just wandering around lower Manhattan, complimenting women's feet? I feel sort of betrayed somehow.

Alex Has a Date Tonight! At, uh, Whole Foods?

Previously, on Misconnecting in the City...

Alex writes an improbable craigslist post for a cute boy that she randomly passed on the sidewalk. He somehow actually responds. Grocery shopping ensues.



that is definetly perfect. I work on ****** and ******, so houston and bowery isnt that far. want to meet on Spring and Mulberry, by the park there. A two minute walk from the supermarket. about ***pm. Ill wear a brown shirt that says ******. If something doesnt work, give me a call: ***-***-****. See you later.


I just want to add in a little plug for technology here. I've never been to the corner of Spring and Mulberry and have no knowledge of a park there but due to the magic that is Google Maps, I now know exactly what I'm looking for.

Seriously, y'all. Is that amazing or is that amazing?

Voice of God?

wfm - 25 (13th St.)

You: Up a ladder on 13th St early this morning
Me: Walking to work in a stripey dress

You said "Good Morning." I was entirely confused. Realized half-way down the block that the voice from above was you.

Come down for a cup of coffee tomorrow morning?

Monday, September 17, 2007

puppy love

you, and also your pug, are adorable - wfm - 26 (Downtown)

where: near the w4 stop, by those basketball courts where some INTENSE GAME always seems to be happening.

when: 8ish, sunday night
you: cute brown-haired boy walking your/someone else's pug/puggish puppy. i assume it was a puppy due to its rambunctiousness, and also due to the fact that it did not like walking on the leash, so you were dancing cutely at it in some sort of attempt to get it to walk, sort of like honeybees (i imagine) dance to tell the other honeybees where to get the pollen.
me: girl in a burgundy floral print dress and pink chucks, whispering "i want to pet that puppy," and getting busted (i think) by you.

i want to pet your puppy. seriously. that's a single entendre.

Curly Speaks, Pt. II

Previously on Misconnecting in the City...

Alex hears back from her curly-haired hit and run... or is it a singer-songwriting imposter?


Dudes, I think this might actually be the guy. Are you kidding me? Does everyone read these things or what?


Hmmm, interesting...

Do you:

(a) have curly hair and occasionally (or ever) wear a grey t-shirt that has some sort of face printed on it
(b) not have curly hair and a grey t-shirt but are cool / worth hanging out with for some other reason?

Let me know,



I do have curly hair. I also have a million t shirts, so many i cant even keep track of them all. I definetly have some grey ones with face-like things printed on. Even better, Im definitely worth hanging out with. We should get together. I work right on mercer street. i finish in the evenings. want to hang out?



I'm contemplating my response. Should I suggest the five minute date? I actually might only have time for one this week. I'm also thinking that, given my track record of social awkwardness on dates, maybe I should suggest something sort of active that doesn't involve lots of inane question-asking and eye contact (or the avoidance thereof).

Thoughts? Suggestions?


UPDATE: I replied.


for sure! this week's a little bonkers for me but i can sneak out tomorrow for a bit if you're free. i have a project due wednesday morning but i do need to go on a grocery run. want to join me on the trek to whole foods?


RE: Happy Monday!!

"RE:Happy Monday!!" = the subject of the email that Hal* the Hand Model just sent me.

Now, "RE:" implies that I sent him an email with the subject, "Happy Monday." Of course, I sent no such e-mail. In fact, since finding him on myspace and deciding that even the 5 Minute Date was going to suck my soul and leave my dry for all future missed (or actual) connections - I've been trying to figure out how to get rid of him.

So, basically, to recap, I'm partially confused and entirely dis-interested.

Do I just never email him back? That seems cruel. Especially since his email ended with a graphic of a smiling and winking happy face. Smiling AND winking.


All I want to do is post my missed connections! Is that SO HARD, craigslist??

Curly Speaks! (Maybe)

Previously on Misconnecting in the City...

Alex exchanges smiles but not phone numbers with a cute, curly-haired dude on Mercer while wearing the same dress that she's worn in her last, like, four missed connections. Adeptly observes that he's wearing a shirt.


subject: im wondering?

I work right there. was that you? we should go get some coffee. i dont remember what shirt that was.


Following Bennett's sage advice, I searched for him on MySpace, Facebook, and Google before even drafting a response. Despite my enviable internet stalking skills, I found nothing useful except a MySpace Music profile for a dude in New York who has the same (extremely uncommon) first name as my would-be suitor.

The good news: he doesn't appear to be a juggler, a magician, or a hand model (you can't make this stuff up, folks) and going out with him will probably not limit my future discounted wine prospects. The other good news: he's actually a pretty good musician and looks cute in his pictures. The bad news: he doesn't have curly hair or a beard so it's probably not the same guy. Or maybe he just got a hair cut?

What should I say? Should I just meet him for coffee or ask him for more info? Clearly I need to spend at least three posts over-analyzing this.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

You Can Kiss Two Buck Chuck Goodbye

I never heard back from Trader Joe's Guy after my candid admission of google stalking. It's not a huge loss for the blog, nor for my personal life, but I just realized that there is only one Trader Joe's in Manhattan and now where am I supposed to get my three dollar wine? Smooth move, Alex.

The Missed Connections We Don't Actually Post

When: Friday night, 1:30am
Where: Lower East Side dance floor
You: mid-50s, dancing earnestly, business suit
Me: mid-20s, sipping water, same orange dress I've been wearing for three days

You asked me to dance and I told you that my mouth was full of ice. You asked me if I was shy. I told you that my mouth was full of ice. You asked me to dance again. My friends saved me. Here's a tip: If you ask a woman thirty years your junior to dance and she says that she can't because her mouth is full of ice, take that as a no.

When: Saturday night, 10:00pm
Where: birthday party of a mutual friend
You: only single guy at the party
Me: awkward

I feel like I have so many more inane comments and bungled jokes than I got the chance to share with you last night. Maybe we can meet for coffee so that I can embarrass myself further?

When: Saturday night, 2:00am
Where: the G train
You: wasted, falling on me, yelling indecipherably
Me: really not interested


Saturday, September 15, 2007

Someone Wrote Back to the Juggler...

RE: missed connection to occur today - m4w - 23, w4m - 20

I was in the city today, with the hopes to at least catch a glimpse of the mysterious poster who unassumingly piqued my curiosity. Unfortunately, I have a terrible sense of direction and I could not make it in time. I don't suppose you'd make another appearance?


RE: missed connection juggler in thompkins square... - m4w - 23

it seems we missed a connection despite my efforts to have one with you. so i will once again be juggling today. this time it will be at 3:15ish, washington square park. the hat will be present. the v-neck shirt will black. the shorts will be grey. and the juggling will be amatuer at best...


To the mystery juggler who will be at Washington Square Park - w4m

I must admit for a complete stranger, you invoke much intrigue. However, if I were not too shy, I would have actually gathered the courage needed and came to see your "performances".

I was completely lost and late the first time. And it appears you may not have read the reply I had written. And this time, I appear to have gotten "cold feet".

If you're the least bit interested in a stranger, you've "unassumingly captivated", post a reply entitled: "Follow the White Rabbit".


Follow the White Rabbit - m4w

If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there...
i recommend trying 72nd street and 5th avenue

and look for a playing card by the white rabbit

but not before noon...


RE: Follow the White Rabbit - w4m

I honestly doubt you're the person (i.e. the juggler at Washington Square Park) I intended the post for.. however, thanks for the "recommended mockery". It was very much unappreciated.


RE: follow the white rabbit - m4w - 23

i'm sorry to hear that you did not think it was i, the juggler, who posted previously. but i can assure you it was me.

i was there at central park this afternoon. but i wasn't juggling (my reflexes are too tired). i realized that telling you to go to 76th and 5th avenue would have been better. my apologies...

go there, enter the park, and look to your left. upon finding the rabbit (this one is not white, but bronze), you might try looking around his hind legs, his left one in particular. when i checked at 6 this evening the card was still there, but i don't have much faith in the strength of scotch tape or curiosity of small children.

i hope you find it... let me know if you don't

Mercer near Bleecker in front of NYU Building, Curly Hair and Beard - w4m - 25 (Greenwich Village)

I was walking down Mercer with my roommate and we passed you on the sidewalk. You had dark curly hair and a beard (I think) and you were wearing a gray shirt with a guy's face on it (I didn't catch a glimpse of who it was). I have dark hair and was wearing an orange skirt and a turquoise shirt with boots. We smiled at each other but my roommate was mid-story so I couldn't stop to ask you who was on your shirt. Maybe we can meet for coffee sometime and I can get a better look?

Need a chair?

Nicky and I went to grab a drink at a local watering hole after seeing a show last night, and I was DETERMINED to miss a connection. When this encounter happened, I said to her: "I offered him a chair half because he needed it, but half to post." We talked a little bit about how it seems like cheating...or actively *create* situations in which connections are missed. I won't bring up the uncertainty principle again, but I know that my general outlook on missed connections has changed since starting the blog.

Frankie posted:
You and your buddy looked at the available table next to me and my buddy, saw that the only way you could both sit was to sit beside each other on the bench against the wall, like teenagers in a 1950s soda shop, and rather adorably and awkwardly sat down. Seeing your discomfort, I offered you the chair that was rather unnecessarily holding my bag. I enjoyed your Coney Island t-shirt and your kickass blue and red sneakers. My friend and I should have invited you guys to sit with us, but we left shortly thereafter.

Would you like to have a drink (whilst sitting) sometime? You seem to enjoy both.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Connections, Missed and Otherwise

Is it wrong to post a Missed Connection that you had while you were on a sort of date with another missed connection? This is an ethical question that I pose to you, fair readers.

So, I went to Cafe Pick Me Up and the juggler was totally there. In fact, he was waiting for me and he was drinking tea and reading a book that he picked up on the dollar shelf at Strand. I told him I wanted to get some coffee first which gave me time to compose myself.

But, ok, so I'm standing in line and this guy asks me how much the free wireless costs but then totally extends the conversation for like 18 minutes longer than it takes to talk about internet fees and I was like "Hello, missed connection, thank you!"

Anyway. Back to the juggler.

It turns out that he doesn't actually live in New York. He's on a car-free cross-country road trip and is just in town for a few weeks. We talked a lot about traveling and he's really interested in social experimentation via craigslist so we had some interesting conversation about that. He's into it from mostly a random acts of kindness perspective which I found really refreshing and interesting.

There were no fireworks but he seems like a neat guy and I'm glad that we met. He took my email address but I didn't take his. One of the things we discussed is the beautiful kind of relationships you form while traveling. A relationship that "is what it is"-- you learn from each other and you create something memorable together and then you move on without the obligation to send Christmas cards every year. There's something nice about that, I think.

After coffee, I met up with Sasha, a friend I've had since I was sixteen, and we drank half-price chocolate martinis and strawberry mojitos and celebrated her new job.

And, you know, there's something nice about that, too.