Monday, October 22, 2007


So after more than a week of not seeing Gym Guy after he responded to my MC, I finally saw him last Thursday night. However he was working out with other people (including a personal trainer), so I couldn't decide if I should interrupt or not. Obviously I did, otherwise there would be no post and no hilarity to regale to our reader(s???). So after stalling brilliantly by the water fountain, I finally walked right up to him and introduced myself. What ensued was some hawkward banter (he was super "hot," I was super "awkward")

me: Hi, I'm Sasha. I am the one...I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a creepy stalker....(Oh god why did I say that- the only 2 words I was NOT supposed to say were "creepy" and "stalker" and I just said them- next to each other!)
him: No, it's ok. I'm sorry I didn't know who you were right off the bat. (What? He's apologizing? He's thoughtful and gorgeous? Now I'm just pissed!)
me: Well I don't know why you wouldn't remember! Only like 8,000 people work out here! (Is that my attempt at a joke?)
him: What? Oh yeah, right. (Well that went over well- I think I confused him.)
me: So umm... (Oh god he just lifted up his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, so I saw his glistening abs in the moonlight - ok I added the moonlight part- they were florescent lights, but he still worked it and I was disoriented for a good 5 seconds.)
The next thing I know, he is being shown some bizarre move on a swinging weight machine thingy and he is going to attempt it. He goes over and proceeds to do some move that I think I saw in Cirque du Soleil. He bent all the way down pulling the weighted cords with him (flexing his arms, his thighs and abs- oh my) and then proceeded to bound 4 feet in the air, landing on the other side of the machine. I didn't know what was going on, except that he was obviously trying to work out and I was obviously in the way. He recovered and I went back to say bye.
Well that looked easy!
him: (trying to catch his breath) What? (Oh my god, could I be more awkward? No, no I couldn't)
me: Umm...I mean that was intense. I better let you get back to it. I just wanted to say hi.
(pant, pant) Umm.....yeah (pant, pant). Great. I'll see you around the gym.
me: Ok, well have fun, bye.

And thus ended the Hawkward Banter of '07. I figure no matter what happens, I am glad that I posted the MC, responded to his response, and mustered up the courage to speak to him in person. Maybe this was a round about way of doing things, but I think it's a step in the right direction. And even if we never speak again, I still get to check him out at the gym, so it's a win-win for me.


Cheri said...

I love to re-visit this encounter in my head. From the sounds of it, he totally sounds hot...but not necessarily someone you can "connect" with. You know what I mean, like me and you vs... me and, well...Isha. And even the hottest guys can get super boring quick. He doesn't even seem like the type that could appreciate a metallic sports bra. 'Nuff said.

Alex said...

Um, I think you forgot to mention that you were dressed business casual?

Anyway, I am proud of you. He's probably gay anyway, let's be honest.

sasha said...

oh yeah- i was dressed business casual cause i had just come from work. and when i say business casual, i mean i was wearing a short blue dress with a cute sweater and a huge belt...and my ass was bangin'

and cheri- no one can compare to you...but i have to say comparing the possible connection b/w me and ponytail and the (un)connection b/w me and isha, kind of took the sexy out of the whole thing. damn!

Nicky said...

i'm not sure why, but reading this with your internal comments was so much more enjoyable than watching you re-enact it in person, and love me a re-enactment. But I just smiled so hard reading this, it made my head hurt..but that might be the crazy head cold and decongestants I have had tonight..

and he is probably gay... I mean cirque du soleil moves.. totally a mo

Alex said...

I concur with Nicky on the hilarity of this post. Also, point taken on the Cirque du Soleil. Hello, Cirque du Soleil moves are a classic red flag! That's like wearing a hot pink sweatband and a Barbara Streisand crop top. Although, point also taken (Frankie) regarding the fact that no gay man would be caught dead in a tie-dye t-shirt.

p.s. I just want to comment on the fact that Sasha referred to ponytail as a "fashion rebel" for wearing plaid shorts. Can we please highlight the difference between "rebel" and "outlaw"? It's subtle.

sasha said...

oh god that was brilliant! first off what is a "barbara streisand crop top?" seriously i love this made up fashion term.

and also, yes there is a subtle difference between "rebel" and "outlaw" but i stand by my assessment of ponytail.

Nicky said...

and speaking of subtle differences, I agree that no gay man would be caught dead in tie-dye, but there is a fine line between uberhipster and gay

Alex said...

I don't know what it means but it sounds fabulous! (Actually, I literally meant a crop top with a picture of Barbra Streisand on it but that kind of makes no sense.)

Alex said...

Nicky, are hipsters wearing tie-dye now? Seriously? Can our Williamsburg/Greenpoint dwellers please confirm or deny? Because, honestly, the Bedford stop is bad enough without looking like a Jerry Garcia convention.

p.s. What is a Jerry Garcia convention?

Nicky said...

not sure if they are definitely wearing tie-dye (as a new serious fashion trend) but they do tend to wear things that will make them look awkward, and sometimes achieving hawkwardness in the process. and really tie-dye is pretty awkward.

LSK said...

obvi I have missed out on some amazing comment madness. Firstly, I must address the tie-dye issue. If I did the calculations right, there is a %.27 chance that someone who wears tie-dye will actually look decent/potentially good in it. SO, given that chance, no one should wear tie-dye unless they are a 12 year old summer camper or have no clothes left and must dig into that one drawer that we all have of those t-shirts we keep for some future occasion that will most likely never happen.

That being said, ponytail is not on the top of my "potential good MC's for my friends" list. He saw you looking hott and barely stopped to talk and then hasn't responded, ugh! Obviously he is way too into himself (i mean who needs to/has the time to work out 7 times a day)?? Plus the whole Cirque move is just too much to handle.

The point is that major props go to our girl Sasha for only being hawkward a few times!! May there be many more of these blogs to come. And maybe with a little less tie-dye this time.

Alex said...

I agree! Anyone who goes to the gym twice a day is (a) not doing anything interesting with his life and (b) obviously obsessed with his body which means he is probably self-absorbed and has unrealistic expectations for the bodies of the women he dates. Yes, I realize that Sasha also goes to the gym twice a day but that's just because she was stalking someone so that's different.

sasha said...

you would go twice a day if you saw him in person. and yes i totally agree with all the comments about him potentially being superficial, blah blah blah- it's just making him hotter in my mind. oh and ps- i found out he has a gym crush (and it's on a trainer) so maybe THAT's why he has been at the gym so much. so maybe he's not superficial- MAYBE he's in love with someone else....oh wait. ok either way i'm screwed.

and not in the good way.

Alex said...

What?!?!?!?! <-- that is just really loud confusion, not excited confusion

How did you find out that he has a gym crush??? If you say your trainer told you (and was previously withholding this info) then I am going to be pissed!

sasha said...

yes i found out through my trainer but i think she must have just found out cause she would not withhold that kind of info from me (i mean even though i think it's probably unethical and more likely not very nice to gossip.

"whatever talk to my hand."

pps- she still is rooting for a date to come out of this. and i just talked to "robin" about it and she has an idea which we can discuss on a later blog- or in 5 minutes in the comment section!

Alex said...

lifted from a g-chat convo i was just having with frankie:

alex. but seriously, i could not date a guy who went to the gym twice a day
alex. or even every day
alex. or probably at all, actually
alex. i don't think i could date a guy who had a gym membership
alex. or had ever been inside a gym
alex. or thought about going inside one

I've always dated guys who play soccer which seems cute/reasonable to me but somehow if a guy works out at the gym all the time, he just seems like he's obsessed with admiring his biceps in the mirror or something. I realize that I am unfairly discriminating.

Mostly, it's just that I do not want to date a guy who ever, ever, ever implies that I should be going to the gym for any reason whatsoever and I feel like if a dude is that obsessed, he probably also talks about it all the time and will say things like "Honey, are you sure you want that last bite of New York Super Fudge Chunk?" And I will be pissed.

Alex said...

I just laughed SO HARD at the quotation marks around Robin's name. Like you wanted to come up with a pseudonym but you couldn't think of one so you just added quotation marks. Ok, actually I am still laughing.

Frankie said...

there is SO MUCH going on in this post, and subsequently in these comments. all the fashion talk makes me laugh. i honestly can't even begin to specify any more than that.

Alex said...

I also want to point out that most of those fashion comments are coming from a girl who went to class today in a pair of blue sweatpants and a shirt with an owl on it.

sasha said...

wow that outfit sounds amazing actually!

and yes there is a lot going on in this post. so much so in fact that i think me any ponytail may never get married. cause honestly i will have to tell him about this blog and once he sees what a freak i am (and my friends, let's be honest), i think it will be over.