Alex: are you working today?
Frankie: testing some stuff
Frankie: learnin about shingles
Alex: the disease?
Alex: or the roof things?
Alex: are those even on roofs?
Alex: is 'roofs' the correct pluralization?
Alex: i am digging myself into a hole in this convo
Frankie: and yes
Frankie: that's crazytalk
Alex: that didn't look right
Frankie: and then there's the whole issue of how to pronounce it
Frankie: which i don't even want to get into
Alex: no way
Alex: i could never be a roofer
Alex: because they probably have to say that word CONSTANTLY
Frankie: "thanks for calling roofco"
Frankie: "we fix roo… ves"
Alex: i would just say "we will fix your roof or even several of them if you have more than one"
Alex: same reason that i could never be a rural planner
Frankie: who can say that?
Alex: its literally the worst word
Frankie: just say 'anti-urban'
Alex: but that sounds like maybe it's racist, like you're saying "anti-turban"
Alex: which doesn't actually even mean anything
Frankie: i don't cotton to your headgear, sir
Frankie: i went on an internet date last night
Alex: why are we talking for like 15 minutes about how to pronounce roofs???
Frankie: i was waiting for an opening
Alex: how did it go?
Frankie: it was ok
Frankie: he was cool
Frankie: he was like an on-paper boyfriend
Alex: oh man
Alex: those are the worst in a way
Frankie: like, "hey, you like improv! and you worked at a company that literally sounds exactly like the one i used to! and we have the same sense of humor!"
Frankie: "you listen to this american life"
Alex: he sounds great!
Alex: oh i guess that's the point
Frankie: he was!!
Frankie: but i did not want to make out with him at all
Frankie: good convo though
Frankie: re: books, movies, etc
Alex: well that's good!
Alex: maybe a new friend
Frankie: but then i did the thing which i always do
Frankie: and just sort of ran away at the end to avoid some sort of awkward goodbye
Frankie: like, "oh, look, it's the L... peace out"
Alex: welcome to.... what i do every day of my life that i'm on a date
Alex: which is not very many days
Frankie: but then of course it is awkward anyway
Alex: of course
Alex: especially if he gets on the train with you and you have to pretend you don't see him because you already said goodbye
Frankie: i tried explaining the on-paper boyfriend concept to my friend will from high school
Frankie: boys do not get the on-paper thing
Frankie: he was like, "wait, what's the problem?"
Frankie: and i was like, "you're a dude"
Alex: i don't know if i'd get an on-paper girlfriend
Alex: because i think i've been a good on-paper girlfriend for people before
Alex: and i was like "i don't get it, go out with me"
Frankie: i am a perpetual on-paper girlfriend
Alex: we need to abolish this