i'm a fairly responsible girl when it comes to employment. from the age of 16 to the age of 23, i worked for the same retailer based in my home state. i then worked for a large, though in its own way socially responsible, corporation and pretended to be a grown-up for a while, and then decided that sucked and hightailed it to the cit-ay. so if i ever end up in some sort of inside the actors studio-style interview situation in which i'm forced to discuss my "wacky jobs" of the past, i've got little to go on but my wild imagination and unsurpassed bullshitting* skills. until i got a job that was so loathsome that i was forced to desert, with nary a word to anyone. i was kind of hoping they'd think i died. but: there was one reason i was a little sad to leave.
three shifts, two train rides, one abandoned job
oh, Young Man at the Awful Job I Went To Exactly Three Times Before I Just Stopped Going and Never Called Or Even Texted Anyone To Let Them Know I Wouldn't Be Back. you were so earnest. we rode the train, shot the shit, flirted a little. i hoped you had a crush on me, as it seems it is so rare that i am the object of a crush.
so? did you? no more worries about that pen/company ink thing.
*i initially typed this as "bullshutting," which i think we should institute as a term for "calling someone out on their bullshitting," as in: the next time he brings up his past as a professional ballroom dancer, i'm bullshutting him the hell up.