When: Friday night, 1:30am
Where: Lower East Side dance floor
You: mid-50s, dancing earnestly, business suit
Me: mid-20s, sipping water, same orange dress I've been wearing for three days
You asked me to dance and I told you that my mouth was full of ice. You asked me if I was shy. I told you that my mouth was full of ice. You asked me to dance again. My friends saved me. Here's a tip: If you ask a woman thirty years your junior to dance and she says that she can't because her mouth is full of ice, take that as a no.
When: Saturday night, 10:00pm
Where: birthday party of a mutual friend
You: only single guy at the party
I feel like I have so many more inane comments and bungled jokes than I got the chance to share with you last night. Maybe we can meet for coffee so that I can embarrass myself further?
When: Saturday night, 2:00am
Where: the G train
You: wasted, falling on me, yelling indecipherably
Me: really not interested