I've been pondering (as temp work supplies ample time to do) the nature and definition of the missed connection. More specifically, when one sees a person with whom they have "missed connected" with more than once - when do you cross the line from missed connection to crush/creep stalker? And, when does the posting of a missed connection become inappropriate?
So, let us back track a bit for the sake of context.
A missed connection is:
A. Missed (verb) 1.fail to hit reach, or come in contact with
2.pass by without touching
B. Connection (noun) 1.a relationship with a person, place or thing that is linked or associated with something else
8. supplier of narcotics (to follow the metaphor through, in our case, the drug is love/lust - get on board here people!)
A Crush (verb)* is defined as:
1. to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms.
2. to squeeze or pound into small fragments or particles, as ore, stone, etc.
6. to hug or embrace forcibly or strongly: He crushed her in his arms.
8. to overwhelm with confusion, chagrin, or humiliation, as by argumentation or a slighting action or remark; squelch.
9. to oppress grievously.
10. Archaic. to finish drinking (wine, ale, etc.).
*Please note, the definitions of crush turned out to be a lot worse than I expected. As an (almost) linguistics minor, I should have seen it coming.
All of this information begs the question, at what point do you stop "passing by without touching" and start "overwhelming with confusion," and is the transition even visible?
One often sees postings on CL-MC such as this one:
"TOMMY, YOU ARE CUTE. m4m - East Village.
Heyy ,just wanted to tell u that u are super cute .You are allways nice to me and every time I see you I fall in love with you .My hormons are in over drive today ,all because I spent time in your company last night...........Maybee some day we'll get to play.....Love You"
Now, this poster has poor grammar and a questionable understanding of the difference between love and lust. But, none the less, this wasn't a case of passing someone on the street, and, suddenly, they are lost the crowd. This is an on-going attraction/crush. Is it mere cowardice on the part of Tommy's paramour to post an MC?
To bring it all back around to a few very practical applications:
Will posting an MC for my barista prevent me from showing my face at the only local vegan coffee shop?
Will posting an MC for the only cute/not soul-less ad exec create awkward tension at work?
Is posting an MC for an ongoing crush/acquaintance ever appropriate? Is there ever a situation where it would elicit a positive reaction?
Does anyone ever read these things anyway? (Besides the wrist models/Napoleans we've heard from.)
I leave you with this for pure amusement. TGIF y'all.
"Ric seeks Amanda Bynes. m4w - downtown.
I know this is kinda odd,
but im looking for my future wife.
Her name is Amanda Bynes.
Hopefully she can date me
and realize that i'm
the right one for her.
I heard she lives in NY or LA.
So i wrote this to find her,
if anyone knows her real phone number or email
let me know.
xoxo for Amanda Bynes.
[I know its a longshot, but i'll try anyway.]"