Friday, September 21, 2007

Breakin' It Down

I've been pondering (as temp work supplies ample time to do) the nature and definition of the missed connection. More specifically, when one sees a person with whom they have "missed connected" with more than once - when do you cross the line from missed connection to crush/creep stalker? And, when does the posting of a missed connection become inappropriate?

So, let us back track a bit for the sake of context.
A missed connection is:

A. Missed (verb) to hit reach, or come in contact with
2.pass by without touching

B. Connection (noun) 1.a relationship with a person, place or thing that is linked or associated with something else
8. supplier of narcotics (to follow the metaphor through, in our case, the drug is love/lust - get on board here people!)

A Crush (verb)* is defined as:

1. to press or squeeze with a force that destroys or deforms.
2. to squeeze or pound into small fragments or particles, as ore, stone, etc.
6. to hug or embrace forcibly or strongly: He crushed her in his arms.
8. to overwhelm with confusion, chagrin, or humiliation, as by argumentation or a slighting action or remark; squelch.
9. to oppress grievously.
10. Archaic. to finish drinking (wine, ale, etc.).

*Please note, the definitions of crush turned out to be a lot worse than I expected. As an (almost) linguistics minor, I should have seen it coming.

All of this information begs the question, at what point do you stop "passing by without touching" and start "overwhelming with confusion," and is the transition even visible?

One often sees postings on CL-MC such as this one:

"TOMMY, YOU ARE CUTE. m4m - East Village.

Heyy ,just wanted to tell u that u are super cute .You are allways nice to me and every time I see you I fall in love with you .My hormons are in over drive today ,all because I spent time in your company last night...........Maybee some day we'll get to play.....Love You"

Now, this poster has poor grammar and a questionable understanding of the difference between love and lust. But, none the less, this wasn't a case of passing someone on the street, and, suddenly, they are lost the crowd. This is an on-going attraction/crush. Is it mere cowardice on the part of Tommy's paramour to post an MC?

To bring it all back around to a few very practical applications:
Will posting an MC for my barista prevent me from showing my face at the only local vegan coffee shop?
Will posting an MC for the only cute/not soul-less ad exec create awkward tension at work?
Is posting an MC for an ongoing crush/acquaintance ever appropriate? Is there ever a situation where it would elicit a positive reaction?
Does anyone ever read these things anyway? (Besides the wrist models/Napoleans we've heard from.)

I leave you with this for pure amusement. TGIF y'all.

"Ric seeks Amanda Bynes. m4w - downtown.

I know this is kinda odd,

but im looking for my future wife.
Her name is Amanda Bynes.
Hopefully she can date me
and realize that i'm
the right one for her.
I heard she lives in NY or LA.
So i wrote this to find her,
if anyone knows her real phone number or email
let me know.

xoxo for Amanda Bynes.
[I know its a longshot, but i'll try anyway.]"


Alex said...

I love this. You've really raised the bar... um, thanks a lot.

Also, I saw that Amanda Bynes one and thought it was alternately hilarious (when I first read it) and sad (when I realized he was serious).

As far as the MC-to-inappropriate slip-n-slide, I've had a hard time with that, too. For example, I met a cute boy at a friend's party a few weeks ago and we had a vaguely memorable chat but then I felt weird posting a MC because we have a mutual friend. Except she's really more of an acquaintance so it's not like I would really ask her to pass him a note in gym class or anything. Anyway, I ended up Facebook-stalking him and it turns out that he's gay so it doesn't matter.

Moral of the story: he's probably gay anyway.

Drew said...

I've been thinking about this question since yesterday and here's what I came up with:

Missed Connections is really designed as kind of a last-chance grab to contact someone who you have no other way of finding, right? So if the person you're posting for was an ongoing acquaintance who you now don't know how to get a hold of - right on. But if you could just walk into his place of employment and ask him out, well, that's not really a MC is it?

sasha said...

yes i totally agree with drew...and i also have to say this post made me laugh for like ten minutes.

thank you bennett!