Sunday, October 28, 2007

Alex Has a Crush

From: Sasha
To: Alex
hey is that guy you love a facebook friend?

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From: Alex
To: Sasha
That guy I have a crush on from school? No. We have, like, the MOST professional relationship in history, i.e. he is never going to be interested in me.

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From: Sasha
To: Alex
oh just wondering....you should find him on facebook and poke him! then he'll love you.

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From: Alex
To: Sasha
I'm kind of afraid to do that because our relationship is TOTALLY professional/serious at this point and he just seems really cool/mature and he might be like "wtf" and then it will be weird in meetings.

Maybe I could just add everyone from our group. Then they will all think I have crushes on them!

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From: Sasha
To: Alex
if he is in your network can't you see his profile anyway? i mean you need to see what kind of "cool" you are up against!

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From: Alex
To: Sasha
i was just about to write "i am so sure that he is not on facebook" but then i looked him up and he totally is! why have i never tried this before??

so… he's straight but it doesn't say if he's in a relationship or not.

but it says his religion is hindu so that probably means i'm out. dammit!!

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Alex: ok it is officially ridic that we are not having this convo on gchat
Alex: he is SO cute
Alex: now i am going to be really tempted to facebook friend him but it is pointless
Alex: (a) i will then feel awkward in our next mtg
Alex: and (b) he will NEVER LOVE ME
Sasha: it is not pointless
Sasha: (a) he will see how awesome, interesting and funny you are
Sasha: and (b) he will see how awesome and funny i am
Sasha: cause i need a back-up
Sasha: friend him with a cute, subtle message
Alex: yes we are awesome at subtle
Sasha: i know!
Sasha: well we can be
Sasha: ok i can't be
Alex: i have a mtg with him tomorrow so maybe i'll dress really cute and try to be witty and then follow up with a friend request
Sasha: yes! do it the old fashioned way
Alex: i love how whenever you're reading the myspace/facebook profile of someone you might have a crush on
Alex: you will skim their interests section for anything that looks vaguely promising
Sasha: oh for sure
Sasha: i totally did that with ponytail
Sasha: i was like "oh, he loves heavy metal-- he must be passionate and intense"
Alex: ha!
Sasha: ok we should figure out what you're going to wear tomorrow for the study group
Sasha: i'm thinking a sarong and a bindi
Alex: i should be like "hey, guys! i mean NAMASTE"
Alex: no but seriously do you think he's married?
Sasha: no
Alex: i love how you have an opinion on this
Alex: or that i expect you to
Sasha: he might be betrothed but there are totally ways around that
Alex: he's liberal
Alex: according to facebook
Sasha: so you two are basically soulmates
Alex: i wish you could hear his dreamboat accent
Alex: i don't think i can go back to americans after this
Alex: they just seem so passe
Sasha: you probably won't
Alex: omg WHAT
Alex: not to you
Alex: to facebook
Alex: wait my mind is blown
Alex: i am seriously in a state of shock right now!
Sasha: what?
Alex: am i doing the math right that if he was born in 1986 that he is YOUNGER than me??
Alex: by like FOUR YEARS
Alex: that's impossible
Sasha: oh jesus- he is a baby
Alex: what year was i born in?
Alex: i thought he was like 30
Sasha: just do the math
Sasha: 1986-2007
Alex: OMG
Sasha: oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alex: maybe he faked his bday
Alex: by accident
Alex: or on purpose
Alex: for some mysterious reason
Sasha: or maybe he's one of those young genius types
Sasha: you must have him
Sasha: now you've got the upper hand
Alex: EXACTLY
Alex: slash what?????
Sasha: slash you have years of experience
Sasha: he can't contend
Alex: omg
Alex: i cannot be intimidated by a fucking TWENTY-ONE-YEAR-OLD
Alex: because i am the cool older woman
Alex: i mean not older older
Alex: hot older
Sasha: yeah and you are totally a sex goddess
Alex: he's probably still a virgin!
Alex: ok maybe not
Sasha: yes you can show him the ways of the womanly body
Alex: maybe i should include that in my facebook message?
Sasha: we need to be a tv show
Alex: seriously
Alex: we could just set up a camera on our gchat window
Alex: and play music over it
Sasha: so abstract
Sasha: i am totally glad g chat saves everything so we can write our book based off of this one convo
Alex: oh come on there have been others
Alex: cue the montage
Alex: i'm not sure how we'll deal with montages on our gchat tv show
Sasha: just music playing while it pans from you to me in front of our respective comps, laughing
Sasha: and then crying
Sasha: and then laughing again
Alex: and then laughing through tears
Alex: and then crying from laughing
Sasha: yes
Sasha: brilliant

12 comments:

sasha said...

ok this made me laugh for like 20 minutes. and i am pretty sure i will laugh again when i re-read it in like an hour. also has this post been edited or are we really that brilliant in the moment? imagine if we had edited it- it would becoming a best-seller like instantaneously! (obvi...third eye)

no but seriously there is some golden material in this convo. but as with most provocative convos on this blog, if the respective men of whom we speak actually saw these posts, our respective relationships would be over before they even began.

Frankie said...

a) [hysterical laughter]
b) he may be young only chronologically. my 25-year-old friend with the 18-year-old bf is doing ok, but mainly because his bf is an old soul.
c) get it get it

Alex said...

Basically I'm obsessed with us. I edited for length and confidentiality and in a few places for clarity due to the fact that g-chats make zero sense when you re-read them in chronological order. Other than that, the genius you see is the genius that is our brains. And yes, if the respective men of whom we speak saw any of these posts, they would probably file restraining orders and/or would be endeared to our wit/hilarity/creepiness.

sasha said...

i once had a fight with a former bf about a convo we had on (g) chat. we actually had to re-read the entire thing to see who was correct. and you are so right when you say that they don't make sense when you re-read them. they don't. and it didn't. and he was right.

whatever talk to my hand.

ps- 2 comments in under 2 minutes that ended with this quote. awesome!

Anonymous said...

oh my god! I facebooked him too a few weeks ago after seeing him at some human-rights related event! haha, we have good taste in law school crushes.

Here are my contributions:
lives in D'Ag. works out a lot and comes back to D'Ag all sweaty and hot.

is getting an LLM, meaning he is a foreign college grad, probably from the UK. In England, college, or "uni" as they call it "across the pond", is 3 years instead of 4. So the age thing is entirely probable.

I'm going to cede this crush to you since you've actually talked to the guy whereas I haven't. Unless you count openly gawking at him when he comes back from the gym. which we probably shouldn't.

Alex said...

He is indeed from England, hence the dreamboat accent. I'm not surprised that our law school crushes have collided given that the pickings here are kind of slim.

leigh said...

we need an update! did you friend him?

Alex said...

I did! But actually I think I'm over this crush. In fact, I was pretty much over it by the time I even posted this conversation. I have a pretty short attention span if a guy isn't acting interested enough, it gets boring really quickly.

Also, I realized that when it comes down to it, I'm much more interested in this project we're working on together and in being perceived as smart and professional than I am in being perceived as hot by this (admittedly gorgeous) guy.

sasha said...

well at least i know this opens the door for me! so do you think it's presumptuous for me to friend him?

Alex said...

Don't make me cut you.

sasha said...

"some big bastard cut my eye"

seriously i can't stop singing this line- so your comment just reminded me of it.

walrus cloudy.

oh...now it's clear.

Anonymous said...

subway touched me deep inside...months later.

(this is frankie)
(if you want proof that it's really me, i say: don't say "inside")