Alex: are you working today?
Frankie: yup
Frankie: testing some stuff
Frankie: learnin about shingles
Alex: the disease?
Alex: or the roof things?
Alex: are those even on roofs?
Alex: is 'roofs' the correct pluralization?
Alex: i am digging myself into a hole in this convo
Frankie: disease
Frankie: and yes
Frankie: rooves?
Frankie: that's crazytalk
Alex: that didn't look right
Frankie: and then there's the whole issue of how to pronounce it
Frankie: which i don't even want to get into
Alex: no way
Alex: i could never be a roofer
Alex: because they probably have to say that word CONSTANTLY
Frankie: "thanks for calling roofco"
Frankie: "we fix roo… ves"
Alex: i would just say "we will fix your roof or even several of them if you have more than one"
Alex: same reason that i could never be a rural planner
Frankie: seriously
Frankie: who can say that?
Alex: its literally the worst word
Frankie: just say 'anti-urban'
Alex: but that sounds like maybe it's racist, like you're saying "anti-turban"
Alex: which doesn't actually even mean anything
Frankie: lol
Frankie: i don't cotton to your headgear, sir
Alex: haha
Frankie: anyway
Frankie: i went on an internet date last night
Alex: whatttt
Alex: why are we talking for like 15 minutes about how to pronounce roofs???
Frankie: i was waiting for an opening
Alex: omg
Alex: how did it go?
Frankie: it was ok
Frankie: he was cool
Frankie: he was like an on-paper boyfriend
Alex: oh man
Alex: those are the worst in a way
Frankie: like, "hey, you like improv! and you worked at a company that literally sounds exactly like the one i used to! and we have the same sense of humor!"
Frankie: "you listen to this american life"
Alex: what??
Alex: he sounds great!
Alex: oh i guess that's the point
Frankie: he was!!
Frankie: but i did not want to make out with him at all
Frankie: good convo though
Frankie: re: books, movies, etc
Alex: well that's good!
Alex: maybe a new friend
Frankie: right
Frankie: but then i did the thing which i always do
Frankie: and just sort of ran away at the end to avoid some sort of awkward goodbye
Frankie: like, "oh, look, it's the L... peace out"
Frankie: [run]
Alex: welcome to.... what i do every day of my life that i'm on a date
Alex: which is not very many days
Frankie: but then of course it is awkward anyway
Alex: of course
Alex: especially if he gets on the train with you and you have to pretend you don't see him because you already said goodbye
Alex: aw-kward!!
Frankie: LOL
Frankie: i tried explaining the on-paper boyfriend concept to my friend will from high school
Frankie: boys do not get the on-paper thing
Frankie: he was like, "wait, what's the problem?"
Frankie: and i was like, "you're a dude"
Alex: well
Alex: i don't know if i'd get an on-paper girlfriend
Alex: because i think i've been a good on-paper girlfriend for people before
Alex: and i was like "i don't get it, go out with me"
Frankie: i am a perpetual on-paper girlfriend
Alex: we need to abolish this
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5 comments:
ok that was so funny i told my boss to read it. he may or may not have thought it was funny. then again he may or may not be too old to get hip with the (g) chat convos.
suckas!
ps- it is "roofs"
how f'ed-up is that?
yes, it is totally f-ed up. anna was actually agreeing with me that it's 'roofs' and denouncing 'rooves' as crazytalk but my gchat editing skillz may have mangled that meaning.
Omg. That was frickin' hilarious. I was cracking up the whole time I was reading it!!
Incidentally, Frankie and I just made up the flip-side of the "on-paper" boyfriend: The Headshot Boyfriend. We have also renamed "The On-Paper Boyfriend" to "The Resume Boyfriend." It is probably obvious what these terms mean: hot but not actually dateable (headshot) and lots in common but not actually dateable (resume). We are looking for someone with double-sided printing here.
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