Tuesday, May 6, 2008

why a craigslist account is a good idea.

a couple of weeks ago, i posted a missed connection, forgot to post it on this blog, and promptly forgot about it. i don't check my super-secret pseudonym email very often, and when i logged into it today to check that my new post had worked, i saw two replies from said post.

i had no idea what i'd written.

however: craigslist keeps your ads if you have an account! holla!!

spring in your step, strut in your boots - w4m

As I sashayed my way down 8th Avenue in my bright, springy orange coat, I could not help but notice you walking a few feet in front of me like you owned the whole street. You were rockin' out pretty hard on your iPod and came close to colliding with someone's Yorkie. But you were gallant about it, apologizing, and as you turned, I saw that you were not only tall and well-shod, but majorly cute as well.

[ strained innuendo ]

You can collide with my Yorkie anytime!
[< / strained innuendo ]

and so what was lost is now found. however, the two replies were:

Sounds very familiar! 8th and what?? (pls...)



what was I wearing?

so demanding, these replies! and of course, now that time's passed, i have a vague idea of the cross street and basically no knowledge whatsoever of the outfit of the gentleman (or, really, any idea of what he looks like). oops.

So I responded to both these clandestine swains, and my faith in the power of the internet was once again knocked down a peg. With Mr. Cross-Street, the exchange went something like this:

To: Frankie
From: Mr. Cross-Street

Sounds very familiar! 8th and what?? (pls...) wb

To: Mr. Cross-Street
From: Frankie

About 44th or 45th, I think.

To: Frankie
From: Mr. Cross-Street

but u r a dude, so could not have been u

Let me interject here. Most of the time, use of a single letter in place of a word, unless you are Prince, is grounds for immediate dismissal. But I had to clear this up.

To: Mr. Cross-Street
From: Frankie

Just because my name is Frankie doesn't mean I'm a boy! (It's Frances, really.)

To: Frankie
From: Mr. Cross-Street

hey frances, wanna do a pic exchange? =)

Okay, look. Clearly, Mr. Cross-Street, you are wookin pa nub in all da wong paces ("da wong paces" here being "craigslist") but what makes you think I will provide a photo to you when:
1. you thought I was a man, though the ad was clearly w4m
2. your use of "r" and "u" turns me on like a raisin (meaning not at all)*
3. you have shown no proof that you are, in fact, the intended recipient of this ad

I know, I know, I've put countless photos online that could be any number of places, so what's one more floating around in the digital ether? But it just geeks me out a little bit. Especially when there's no real cause** for a pic exchange.

*used with permission from the album I made up with my college roomie once. "That Turns Me On Like A Raisin (Meaning Not At All)" was one of the tracks, along with "Optometrist (Cover Yo' Eye)" and "I Found Five Dollars on the Street (Let's Go To Taco Bell)"
**real cause here being one or more of the following: ability to write a coherent sentence, demonstrated affinity for anything I like, possibility of actually being the real dude


michael said...

Isn't "you almost collided with a dog" doing a good enough job identifying him? Man, some people are so picky.

sasha said...

hmmm...at this point, just have them send pictures. i mean if he was that cute you will remember.

also, you need to have that shit forwarded to your "real" email address. this is the only way i keep it organized. ah, the worries of a modern blogger/stalker/hopeless missed connector...

Nicky said...

the question is, what is the more grievous usage.... u r a guy? or your a guy?

Alex said...

"wanna do a pic exchange?" made me laugh out loud.

also, i don't understand why it "couldn't be u" just because u r a dude. what couldn't be u? u r the one who posted the ad, not him.

oh, internet.

Alex said...

also, nicky raises an excellent question and i'm curious to hear u r thoughts on the matter.