Thursday, June 26, 2008

Jared Has Not Been Murdered

Maybe this situation just worked itself out. Or possibly this is the worst thing ever.

Jared,
Thanks for the complimentary sodas every morning this week. It helps with my Diet Pepsi addiction and to stay awake at work every morning! Well, now you know who your secret admirer is, as if you didn't all ready have a notion. Would love to return the favor and pleasure your fine body sometime! Hehe! You brighten up my day and keep me shopping at 7-11 even more.
Take care, stay awake and don't work too hard,
Ernest


3 comments:

Alex said...

(a) As I just told you in my incoherent-from-laughter voicemail... the subject line of this post is solid gold. Also: the tags. Oh, the tags.

(b) I am so confused by this. Why is he giving him free soda? Why is Ernest talking to Jared over email, but not in person? WHAT IS GOING ON?

(c) What I really hope is this: Jared and Ernest are hot for each other. This missed connections fake email exchange has given Ernest the confidence to flirt with Jared in person and, as a result, Jared is giving him free soda. Eventually they will get married.

(d) I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE BEEN MORE MOTIVATED TO WEAR AN ELABORATE DISGUISE. Seriously? You are going to be in my city next week and I feel like we need to camp out at this 7-Eleven from 5-7am one day until we see Ernest and Jared in action.

Alex said...

Also, on what planet is "pleasuring (your) fine body" an appropriate exchange for free Diet Pepsi? I mean, maybe if it was Diet Coke.

sasha said...

in my world!

....

in my world.