One Last Opportunity

We first met The Naturalizer a while back. For brevity's sake: he likes pits. You can read the history if you'd like. In short, I sort of got bored with him. However, his most recent email was too good to not post.


From: The Naturalizer
To: Frankie
Sent: Sunday, October 5, 2008 4:48:40 PM
Subject: Re: Hi!
So did you receive my replies? Are you going to respond? Its up to you. I am not sending you another email...
Ed. note: This one is so sinister-sounding. I like how he basically gives me an ultimatum.

From: Frankie
Subject: Re: Hi!
To: The Naturalizer
Date: Monday, October 6, 2008, 2:06 PM
wow...i was not able to check my email for the past few days...sorry if i "inconvienced" you. i don't think i'm ready to meet up with someone who is so pushy. sorry to have wasted your time.

From: The Naturalizer
To: Frankie
Sent: Monday, October 6, 2008 7:17:36 PM
Subject: Re: Hi!
Sorry about that.. It is just that you usually responded very quickly and all of sudden you didn't. So I wanted to see if you were still interested. So how about it? How is finding out if you are still interested in chatting being pushy by the way?

From: Frankie
Subject: Re: Hi!
To: The Naturalizer
Date: Tuesday, October 7, 2008, 2:05 PM
i can see where you would wonder what happened, but i just got caught up with other stuff. here's a tip: if someone isn't responding to your emails, they are busy or not interested. in either case, re-sending the same email multiple times looks pushy.
good luck on your search.

From: The Naturalizer
To: Frankie
Sent: Tuesday, October 7, 2008 4:43 PM
Subject: Re: Hi!
Whatever. get over yourself...

Ed. note: At this point, I figured we were done. And that would have been totally fine with me. But the next email was, oh, too priceless.

From: The Naturalizer
To: Frankie
Sent: Tuesday, October 14, 2008 9:44 PM
Subject: Re: Hi!
How are you? I have decided to give you one last opportunity. Perhaps, you have had time to think about your rude behavior in not responding to my emails. Besides, I can think of two good reasons-- 1. Its not easy to find a girl who does not shave and a guy who is appreciative of that.. and 2. we may share similar religious beliefs... And in ny that is not easy to find. How about it?

Wow. I mean...how could a girl resist?