Wednesday, February 27, 2008

I Feel Like There May Be Other Issues at Play Here

I saw this post today and had to share, in hopes that the reading public may have some light to shed. (a) What is he talking about? and (b) No, seriously, what?

Trying to help a missed connection - m4w - 36
Reply to: *************
Date: 2008-02-26, 8:06PM CST

What do women prefer in shoes when choosing between most expensive, and relaxed fit ?

Because clearly, I'm relaxed fit; and the guys with the shoe accounts seem to get the woman that would otherwise love me.

A lot of difficult choices in the pursuit of harmony; and women clearly have the power to choose the priorities that work best for them.

Us relaxed fit people, are only guilty of loving so deeply, we're basically shy.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

back on that horse

So the ladies of Misconnecting in the City have been going through some Life Changes lately, what with many a job/school/city in with you live switcheroo, so maybe that's the reason we've been so lax. But hey...we're going to make a concerted effort to chronicle our shenanigans for you once again.

This post was one to which I responded rather than posted. I don't actually have the exact wording of the ad, as I didn't think to save it, and it is now lost to the winds. Suffice it to say that it was a list of things this dude promised not to do (the one I remember being "Text you at 4am and just say 'Hey'") and a list of things you promised not to do, should you reply ("Tell me about all your ex-boyfriends before we even meet"). It was amusing, and wittily written, but the thing was: I didn't find it when I was trolling the ads as I am wont to do. No, this was found via a search while I was researching a project. I'll let the emails take it from here.

To: S
From: Frankie
Subject: the circuitous route to your craigslist post

Actually, that's a lie. It's not THAT circuitous. A friend of mine has enlisted me to help her write a cabaret show influenced heavily by both
Lolita and the tale of Myrrha, and part of my research was looking to see what sort of "sugar daddy" posts there are on CL. So when I searched the term "sugar daddy," your ad was one of the results. [Editor's note: one of the things he promised not to do was act like a sugar daddy, or something. I don't really remember.] That's pretty much it. Not much of a circuit.

I enjoyed your post. That's pretty much it. I have gotten the 4AM text message and the "your friend seems hot." I have known girls who have overshared with men/overcommitted to men too early (note: the past tense is used here for a reason; if they were friends of mine, they aren't anymore). A little crazy is fine. A lot crazy is scary.

To: Frankie
From: S

Glad you enjoyed my post, even if you did get to it in
a semi-circuitous way. Speaking of oversharing, I didn't even post the story about the girl who hadn't been on a date in 2 1/2 years, got hammered, and proceeded to tell me every intimate detail of her last sexual encounter, her bikini wax earlier that day, the way she pees on public toilets, and just about
everything else you can imagine.

To: S
From: Frankie

Nice. I'm trying to conjure up an image of how all those things could flow, conversationally, but I'm not that good a writer. The peeing on public toilets part is especially difficult to fit.

To: Frankie
From: S

I might've given you the wrong you the wrong image, she doesn't intentionally pee ON the toilets (I don't think), she was more describing the hovering style that sometimes causes a mess. I don't know if that makes it any easier to fit.

Is your real name Frankie?

To: S
From: Frankie

ah. gotcha. still kind of a conversational rigmarole, though.

i wish i could say that my given birth name was frances and that i go by frankie, but no...this is my "i hope you're not a crazy stalker-type person, random craigslist ad writer, so i'll test the waters with a nom de web first" pseudonym. it's not even really close to my actual name except that the last is german-sounding.

i assume your real name isn't [his obviously anonymous email handle]...but there was that couple that wanted to name their baby "4real," so i suppose anything's game.

To: Frankie
From: S

I guess I'm not as creative as you, I didn't feel like making up a fake name. I just needed an e-mail address that I could abandon quickly when the spam got too bad (or if I started getting stalked). There's only so many Viagra and sex webcam e-mails I can tolerate in a day.

This is the part where it stops being even a little bit interesting and starts falling into "so what are you into?" land. Mind you, we have been exchanging emails for a couple of weeks at this point, so we finally do the pic-trade, and he sends me a photo of himself next to some dude dressed like Hugh Hefner, explaining that "This pic was taken at a "lingerie party" at a bar, thus the idiot next to me dressing up like Hugh Hefner. Don't worry, that's not me nor is he a friend of mine."

The thing is, that while S is definitely cuter than Hugh Hefner Guy, empirically, I wouldn't really mind going on a date with a guy who is either a) confident or b) ridiculous enough to dress that way, even if it was just once. Does this mean S is going to be boring? Eesh.

So I bit the bullet and gave him my number. S, not Hugh Hefner Guy. Maybe I should post an MC for him.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Reasons to Celebrate: A New Year & Our 100th Post!

classic stage company - 7:45 pm -luscious locks & a sparkling smile - w4m - 25

you: long dirty blonde curly hair, controlled scruff, coral corduroys, beautiful eyes & teeth taken from a crest ad
me: long blonde hair, stripped sweater, holding a red wool coat with gigantic buttons

I was sitting on the bench talking with my friend (Bennett) from the show when you sat down next to me. I had already noticed you at the will call. How could I not? (long beautiful hair and bright coral corduroys!) Stunning. After my friend went backstage, you got a call on your cell and took it. I couldn't hear anything you said, thus I couldn't assess the major vitals (single? straight? sex predator?). After you finished, I tried to make a general attempt at conversation- "Are you waiting for a ticket?" (obviously!) "That's cool- Good luck to both of us" (Wow I can really dazzle 'em with excitement). You responded and were nothing but nice, but I was slightly thrown off by the glisten of your smile. We were called up after a brief conversation and both got tickets. Although if you hadn't gotten a ticket (which I thought could happen) I had already thought of a solution- I would give you mine and you would give me your body for 3 hours (a rough approximation of the play's length). Even Steven. This unfortunately wasn't the case. When I went in to be seated in the last few seats in the house, I almost asked the usher if she would "Seat the cute boy with the curls next to me?" but I thought this may be too complicated as seating was very limited and either way would come off as generally creepy. During intermission I caught a glimpse of you in the lobby, but could not think of any reason important enough to push through the infinite number of elderly people in the crowded space, so I kept my distance. At the end of the show, you left and I sat in the lobby to wait for
Bennett. I thought that was the end, but when the main actor came out from backstage, you magically reappeared. Ok actually it still was the end, but I smiled and tried to think of something semi-pertinent to say, but you were with your friend and I didn't want to interrupt. And honestly I still wasn't sure how to interpret the pristine smile and coral corduroys (Is this gay or merely well styled?). I found out later from Bennett in the show, that your from Brooklyn. This explains it. So next time your going to see the new "it" play, email me and we can see it together or at the least we can exchange dental hygiene tips.