He's baaaaa-aaaaaack

Ernest wrote:
You still work at 7-11? I don't get there during the early mornings anymore. Hope you had a great summer.

Wow. Talk about carrying a torch...this guy could do the entire Olympic torch march by himself.

Guys. This is Getting Silly.

Regular readers of the blog may remember Versatile Fun: The Saga of Jared and Ernest: A Gay Stalker Love Story,* as a somewhat terrifying, yet also amusing warning against the evils of messing with someone on the internet.

So it seems that Ernest's incessant posting on the Missed Connections board has turned into incessant emailing of "Jared," but with little real content. The content is what makes it fun to read, though...these emails are just sort of sad:

July 19

Jared,

Have a happy Madison Gay Pride week-end!**

:-)

Ernest

July 21

:-)

July 29

I miss your smiling face!

I'm a terrible person.

*This is what the title of this adventure would be if there were a cable network equivalent to Lifetime, but for aging gays instead of middle-aged women (and 20-somethings who watch it "ironically"but actually really liked Video Voyeur: The Susan Wilson Story).

**Apparently this email was sent from 1907, when they spelled things "week-end," "to-morrow," and "base-ball."

A note on the photo on this post:

This is the first image that appears when you search "gay stalker" on flickr. Incidentally, my sister sent me a greeting card with this image once in which she pointed out that he looked like Hugh Jackman. Her roommates said "Jesus was gay?" and "Hot jeans."

photo courtesy of patricking

Jared Has Still Not Been Murdered, But I'm Starting to Worry

First, this happened.

Then, there was this.

Since I am now physically in the same city as Alex and could ostensibly do the stakeout we considered in earlier incarnations of this saga, I thought I'd take a look-see in the old Gay Stalker email account and check on our friend Ernest.

He has emailed again, unprovoked.

Jared,

You should come over for a beer sometime! I don't get to see you anymore in the mornings as my schedule changed at work. Hope you are well you sexy guy. Let me know if you want me to make you feel good! I aim to please.

Your not so secret admirer,
Ernest

Y'all. I do not want to exacerbate this problem. But I also feel slightly responsible for the emotional well-being of this obviously lonely soul who now thinks that Jared a) knows exactly who he is and b) is consciously ignoring his pleas for attention.

What do I do?

Also, on an unrelated note, I'd just like to point out that Ernest's first email included such phrases as "suck your cock," while this email simply invites Jared over for a beer. Mysterious.

****

UPDATE 7/11/08:

Alex and I went on a recon mission to the 7-11, just to see what was going on there. The results:
- they have $0.59 sodas (any size) all summer long
- someone named "Chris" who is definitely not latino and is also approx. 14 years old works there
- we are not good at deducing the difference between "I am leaving at 10 [PM because that is the end of my shift]" and "I am leaving at 10 [AM because that is when I am going on a road trip]." The aforementioned employee apparently meant the latter, but we thought he meant the former, because when we went back to the 7-11, with an additional team member in tow, after 10pm, under the impression that Jared would have shown up, Chris was still there. Still no sign of Jared.

We did, however, drive past Ernest's house.

I don't find these posts...These posts find me!

We met for a drink and you caught me making out with a man - m4w - 25 (Upper East Side)

I'm sorry. You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me. Next thing I knew we were making out and you came back and stormed out of the bar. I just want you to know that I really liked you and I'm not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes. You are a beautiful girl and I'm glad that you came on date with me. I would like very much to try again. This time I will give all my love to you.

There are so many things to question in this post. Namely the transition between the sentences "You were taking so long in the bathroom and this guy was looking at me." and "Next thing I know we were making out...." What?! And of course my favorite sentence of all time in a missed connection "...I'm not gay, I just have gay experiences sometimes." Ah yes, what woman in New York hasn't heard this sentiment? But believe me- do not fall for this! It is mere trickery!