To our one reader left...I'm back in the swing of things!

Crunch- 8 pm - The return of the missed connection and Ponytail 2.0 (minus the ponytail) - w4m - 26

you: dark brown hair, dark eyes, navy shorts, white shirt, black sneaks & socks, unbelievably gorgeous
me: red head, tan top, black pants, serious staring problem

Ok so I'll admit I've seen you at the gym before....and I have definitely noticed you. But tonight - I was seriously staring you down! I was checking you out when I was on the elliptical and found it hard to concentrate. I think you sensed me watching and you went upstairs. I don't blame you - I might be creeped out too. but I have to tell you - I am NOT creepy I promise! You are just so cute. I saw you again as you were leaving. I was working out with a trainer and ran to get some water. I almost bumped into you and we made eye contact. We held it a little longer than "normal," so I'm thinking you might think I'm cute too. Or you were noting my facial details to fill out a restraining order. Either way, I just wanted to let you know that you were the best part of my workout.

Ponytail 2.0 & How I Will Soon Be Forced to Frequent Another Gym

Crunch - 2:30pm -Modelesque Man who loves himself a Saturday workout - w4m - 25

you: tall, dark, handsome, with the bone structure of a Greek God and (yes maybe...no definitely- a ponytail)
me: long blonde hair up with many a headband, black workout pants, pink & grey tennis shoes, with a serious staring problem

This is not the first time I've seen you at the gym on a Saturday afternoon. This is not even the second or third time. I have seen you on so many occasions at this exact time, that I now make it a point to come to the gym on Saturday afternoons whenever I can. Today when I walked in, I didn't see you right away. Then as I made my way over to a machine, I suddenly saw your glorious face right in front of me and we locked eyes. As you passed by, I thought your expression was one of recognition, but it was such a brief moment that I'm not sure. I have thought about writing a missed connection for you so many times, that now actually doing it, I am not even sure what to say. You. Are. Perfection. Literally everything about you is gorgeous. From the way you walk back and forth to the water fountain, to the way you lift yourself up on that pull-up machine, to your many, many crunches (oh those abs!), to the way you sit on the bench between sets almost as if brooding about something important....something deep. I could stare at you for hours...and typically I do (when I time it right!). I don't know what to say to you. You make me nervous and giddy. Sometimes I feel like you are looking at me too, in the moments when I look away to catch my breath. Either you're looking back to check me out too...or you're contemplating a restraining order. Either way, we should probably talk.

_____________________________________________________________________
To the fellow MC bloggers and readers- what do you suggest I do? I am seriously into the idea of talking to this guy, but am so nervous about approaching someone at the gym (please see ponytail saga of 2007 for my highlights with gym "romances"). I could ask him for some workout tips, but I am just not sure. Also, can someone this beautiful be straight? Questions, comments. Please refer to the comment section, also known as my version of therapy.

Needed: Ponytail Widgets for Macs

I received a text from my trainer late last night. Of course being so late, I assumed it was an emergency situation (last minute cancellation, missed session...you know something related to our basic gym interactions). I opened the text and this is all it said:

11:30 pm 11/19/07
From : Trainer

Ponytail got a haircut!

Seriously is this a late night text situation? Ok the answer is undoubtedly "yes" cause the haircut could make or break him, but there must be a better way to transmit this information. Then I remembered the conversation I had with a good friend the night before about "widgets" and the need for more specific ones- like "tomato widgets;" you know so you can keep abreast of the state of your local heirloom tomatoes. Just an idea we thought of, but I think it could be big...huge! We could have corresponding t-shirts as well (obviously).

So think about it and get back to me, because this is most certainly a group project.

!!Update!! Part Fin

This shall be the last installment of the Ponytail Gym Guy saga. The collective readership (and fellow bloggers) can breathe a sigh of relief because I know you are tired of hearing about him. I am even a little tired (of hearing about him that is- not of drooling over him- that has yet to seem passé). Anyway, after our non-awkward banter by the water fountain, our relationship has only continued to flourish as we saw each other twice over the weekend- Friday night and Sunday afternoon. He approached me both times making me feel like any sense of residual creepiness on my end had long since subsided. We talked about what we did for Halloween, weekend plans and general chit chat. It was fine conversation, but I couldn't help hearing the words of my good friend Cheri in my head as we talked (Cheri: Have fun, talk with him and see what comes of it- but just think to yourself - 'Would this guy be nearly as interesting to talk with if he weren't so hot?'). My friends are basically brilliant. In short, he probably wouldn't be as interesting, however I do not feel the need to make this anything more than what it is- a gym crush with occasional non-awkward banter. I mean it's a story as old as time really. Girl sees Boy from across the room. Girl writes missed connection on craigslist. Boy finds it and emails Girl super hot pic. Girl approaches Boy hawkwardly in "business caz." Girl and Boy banter at the gym. Girl continues to fantasize about Boy, but decides he probably wouldn't be as interesting without the hot bod.

So there you have it. The finale to a long and treacherous journey. It's been fun, but it's time to put Ponytail to bed. Figuratively that is. If that actually happens than I will reopen this topic for discussion...obviously.

!!Update!! Part Deux

So who thought there would be follow up after the "Hawkward Banter of '07?" Not I! But lo and behold, I saw Ponytail Gym Guy on Saturday afternoon at our favorite hang out: uhhh- the gym. I arrived in my normal gym attire this time (opted out of the "business caz" as this is not really appropriate when I have actual workout intentions). The only other slight difference was I had just gotten my hair done, so there was some extra sass in my strut. I got on my favorite machine and within 10 minutes, Ponytail arrived. I could tell he arrived not only by the wash of plaid that crossed my vision, but the fact that my heart rate monitor that had just read 130 beats per minute shot up to 155 within a matter of seconds. He did his typical parade up and down the stairs to taunt me and the rest of the general straight female/gay male viewing public. When he finally came back downstairs, I made a point to be less discreet about my stare downs. I figured he might as well know I'm still totally interested slash I wanted to make sure there was no question of who I was. I really wasn't sure if he remembered what I looked like and I figured I had nothing to lose at this point. After a full hour of working out and no sign of recognition, I assumed our relationship had reached its limit and it was the end of the road for us. It had been a good ride. I talked to my trainer for a few minutes and she tried to encourage me to go back over to him and start up another conversation. Now although she has nothing but good intentions, I just couldn't bring myself to approach him again. Although he had taken a chance by responding to my MC, I had put myself out there enough times and it was his turn to step up (that is if he was interested). I went to the basement to change and when I came back up, I stopped at the juice bar to grab a drink. While it was being made, I turned around to get a drink from the water fountain. When I turned back, I was pleasantly surprised to see his (gorgeous) face. He approached me and said, "Hi," and all the necessary (re)introduction talk ensued. We stood there talking for probably 10 minutes- no awkward pauses, no strange Cirque du Soleil moves. He did lift his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his face a few times. But this time I was prepared and shielded my eyes from the "light," which is his un.stop.pa.ble bod. Around this time a gym employee approached (or should I say encroached) on our convo. He had been the one that signed me up for my membership and although he is super nice and I usually like talking with him, this was not the time! (Hello why are men oblivious to these things?) However Ponytail did not walk away, he stayed there while Membership Man and I joked for a few. He was integrated into the convo in a matter of minutes, but still he could have left at this very volatile moment. He stayed though...he stayed. That of course led me to believe he was interested in continuing our chat. And yes when Membership Man left, we continued the non-awkward banter. He asked me if I had plans for Halloween and I told him what I was doing. When I asked him what he was doing, he said he didn't have plans....hmmm, interesting. Should I invite him? Should I play it cool? Was he just making conversation? So many thoughts running through my head- oh and I totally forgot about my smoothie that's been ready forever! I didn't invite him and maybe I should have in the moment, but I did email him a brief message when I got home and included the info for the event. Of course I don't really expect him to show, because he will probably want to hang with his own friends on a holiday. But this definitely opens the door for a future night out together- but the ball is totally in his court. I have done what I can. It would be nice to see him on Halloween though, but only because he said he was dressing up as Tarzan. Wowzer! Ponytail + vines + hair down - shirt = Best Halloween Ever!

!!Update!!

So after more than a week of not seeing Gym Guy after he responded to my MC, I finally saw him last Thursday night. However he was working out with other people (including a personal trainer), so I couldn't decide if I should interrupt or not. Obviously I did, otherwise there would be no post and no hilarity to regale to our reader(s???). So after stalling brilliantly by the water fountain, I finally walked right up to him and introduced myself. What ensued was some hawkward banter (he was super "hot," I was super "awkward")

me: Hi, I'm Sasha. I am the one...I'm sorry if I'm coming off as a creepy stalker....(Oh god why did I say that- the only 2 words I was NOT supposed to say were "creepy" and "stalker" and I just said them- next to each other!)
him: No, it's ok. I'm sorry I didn't know who you were right off the bat. (What? He's apologizing? He's thoughtful and gorgeous? Now I'm just pissed!)
me: Well I don't know why you wouldn't remember! Only like 8,000 people work out here! (Is that my attempt at a joke?)
him: What? Oh yeah, right. (Well that went over well- I think I confused him.)
me: So umm... (Oh god he just lifted up his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face, so I saw his glistening abs in the moonlight - ok I added the moonlight part- they were florescent lights, but he still worked it and I was disoriented for a good 5 seconds.)
The next thing I know, he is being shown some bizarre move on a swinging weight machine thingy and he is going to attempt it. He goes over and proceeds to do some move that I think I saw in Cirque du Soleil. He bent all the way down pulling the weighted cords with him (flexing his arms, his thighs and abs- oh my) and then proceeded to bound 4 feet in the air, landing on the other side of the machine. I didn't know what was going on, except that he was obviously trying to work out and I was obviously in the way. He recovered and I went back to say bye.
me: Well that looked easy!
him: (trying to catch his breath) What? (Oh my god, could I be more awkward? No, no I couldn't)
me: Umm...I mean that was intense. I better let you get back to it. I just wanted to say hi.
him: (pant, pant) Umm.....yeah (pant, pant). Great. I'll see you around the gym.
me: Ok, well have fun, bye.

And thus ended the Hawkward Banter of '07. I figure no matter what happens, I am glad that I posted the MC, responded to his response, and mustered up the courage to speak to him in person. Maybe this was a round about way of doing things, but I think it's a step in the right direction. And even if we never speak again, I still get to check him out at the gym, so it's a win-win for me.

Another reason not to be deterred by labels

Hot MILF in the GYM early this morning - m4w - 42

You looked hot this morning. Those tight work out pants really become you. I helped you do some of the machines. You complained about me pushing you to hard. It will be fun tonight though. You know why? Because after 20+ years of marriage I still find you to be as hot as you were at 22 yrs old. See you when the lights go out tonight. And that is a Connection that will not be Missed.

Cute just called and it's handing over it's definition to you.

The Gym Guy is on to Me!

So After countless hours of fawning and doting and finally posting an MC on Tuesday, he found it and responded:

To: Me
From: Him
Subject: This is Definitely Me

Hi, I'm very flattered by your post, but I really don't recall who you are. Please send a picture or approach me next time we are in the gym together. Even if I am 'in the zone', I like meeting new people.

Best,
Gym Guy

PS. Your post kinda made my day. I tried to send a picture but it was too big for craigslist to process. If you reply with your real email address I will send a photo to confirm I am me.

***Ok there are so many things to be said about him responding-

1) One of course is that this confirms that he reads MC's (potentially looking for himself)- minus points.

2) However I do the same thing plus I blog about it- double minus points for me

3) He used a "p.s." at the end of his note- triple cute points (slash possible gay points- I'm sorry people but I have to face reality)

4) My post "made his day"- self-esteem boost slash I am a little embarrassed- double points minus 3 for me

So all in all what I am basically saying is I am going to write him back but I am totally nervous, because if my identity is revealved and it's a disappointment, I might have to switch gyms.

pps- What does he mean when he says he "loves meeting new people?" (meet = sex or meet = possible long term-lasting relationship...I think I am up for either.....)

Spotted (again): Man with Ponytail and Awesome t-shirt collection

Crunch Gym - 8 pm - a tight bod (and yes a ponytail) - w4m - 24

you: mid-20's with plaid shorts, elephant t-shirt, bulging biceps, and a tight, tight....ponytail
me: blonde, light brown sports tank, black gym pants, and a headband

I saw you the moment I walked inside the gym last night and thought 'Where have you been all week?' You weren't wearing your standard tie-dye ensemble, but I appreciate the variety of kitschy/dorky/awesomely-hot t-shirt options. You pull it off very well (which is what I would like to do- hey!) I got onto a machine behind you to get a good view. But once a position was free in line with you, I bolted to get closer. I must have copped a look every 30 seconds, but you were obviously in the "zone." Once you were done, you went to the treadmill and then paraded up and down the stairs most likely just to taunt me. When you came back down to leave you were in jeans and you looked so good. I am obviously aware that I know nothing about you, but you seem very...skilled and agile. Maybe you could give me a few pointers- or at least be my spotter.