Wednesday, November 28, 2007

$700 sexy roomate situation hot man for a hot lady

Looking to move in with a girl and split the rent. Share cooking, cleaning, laundry, and each other. 23 white male honest and integral, carpenter young man who knows how to make and do things, including jewelry making, furniture and construction, and how to please a woman and make you orgasm. Ideally you are between 20 and 30, goal oriented, healthy, fit, fun, cute, height and weight proportionate, non smoker, and without too much drama or baggage. I can handle some, it doesn’t scare me, but its not my cup of tea. You must have stable income, I do, and I don’t want to be paying your bills for you or vice versa. IAM a great man to have around, a good lover, and I won't steal your stuff. I am willing to pay half your rent and utilities up to 700, I am flexible, but I would like it to be around that or less. Remember, I'm looking to move into your space and pay half your rent, and we share your bed, and each other.

There are so many, many things to say about this ad. Feel free to make use of the comment button below.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

unmissed connection

you asked me whether the trains leave regularly all night long, which i then explained to you, but then you went on to say that you were going home from work (an activity i assume you do fairly often), so when you asked for my number, i wasn't that surprised. you work in advertising...let's hope you're not a douche.

"1 ticket for Margot at the Wedding" on Thanksgiving - w4m

Some embarrassing subway confusion foiled my Thanksgiving plans and, on my way home, I impulsively decided to stop at the Angelika to see "Margot at the Wedding". You were in front of me in line and we each bought one ticket and then had to wait in the lobby until the theater opened. I have reddish-brown hair and blue eyes and was wearing a blue scarf and black coat. You had brown hair and were wearing some sort of dark jacket and I got the impression that you may have been cute but I was too shy to take a good look. Maybe we can meet for coffee to discuss how absurdly depressing the movie was.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

how to find us on google

Sometimes I like to see how people are finding our site via Google. Most of the time, the keywords remind us of the good times and bad we've had while documenting our shenanigans:

super hot gym guys
glistening abs
pirate craigslist m4w
"i just have gay experiences sometimes."

Others give us insight into the psyche of the searcher:

reasons why i'm still single
"pant, pant" sounds made in gym
cutest trains

And still others make us say, "What the hell?"

how to pronounce muscadet
koala underwear
sounds you speed me brown brown

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

blue and white mystery object (w4m)

To the guy riding with a huge cloth and wire pre-sculpture on the very crowded blue line this afternoon: I'm impressed with your inventive strategy to drum up interest in your artwork - people in the car were craning their necks to see what the hell that thing was. But where can we see the finished work? Maybe you should email me, or next time add some kind of informational sign...

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

how i love thee, mass transit

me: hapless white girl being fallen over upon by a sleeping/drunk jersey dude
you: cute black dude across the aisle laughing hysterically at my predicament.
where: downtown C or E train (I don't remember which) from 34th st

i didn't know what to do about the sleepy guy next to me until you gave me the humorous suggestion of putting my bag on my shoulder for him to use as a pillow. we had a nice laugh. i was pretty embarrassed to have to sit next to him, but i felt like i had an ally if i had to pop someone in the face at some point. fortunately, it didn't come to that!

Needed: Ponytail Widgets for Macs

I received a text from my trainer late last night. Of course being so late, I assumed it was an emergency situation (last minute cancellation, missed know something related to our basic gym interactions). I opened the text and this is all it said:

11:30 pm 11/19/07
From : Trainer

Ponytail got a haircut!

Seriously is this a late night text situation? Ok the answer is undoubtedly "yes" cause the haircut could make or break him, but there must be a better way to transmit this information. Then I remembered the conversation I had with a good friend the night before about "widgets" and the need for more specific ones- like "tomato widgets;" you know so you can keep abreast of the state of your local heirloom tomatoes. Just an idea we thought of, but I think it could be big...huge! We could have corresponding t-shirts as well (obviously).

So think about it and get back to me, because this is most certainly a group project.

Friday, November 16, 2007

More G-Chat Goodness

Alex: are you working today?
Frankie: yup
Frankie: testing some stuff
Frankie: learnin about shingles
Alex: the disease?
Alex: or the roof things?
Alex: are those even on roofs?
Alex: is 'roofs' the correct pluralization?
Alex: i am digging myself into a hole in this convo
Frankie: disease
Frankie: and yes
Frankie: rooves?
Frankie: that's crazytalk
Alex: that didn't look right
Frankie: and then there's the whole issue of how to pronounce it
Frankie: which i don't even want to get into
Alex: no way
Alex: i could never be a roofer
Alex: because they probably have to say that word CONSTANTLY
Frankie: "thanks for calling roofco"
Frankie: "we fix roo… ves"
Alex: i would just say "we will fix your roof or even several of them if you have more than one"
Alex: same reason that i could never be a rural planner
Frankie: seriously
Frankie: who can say that?
Alex: its literally the worst word
Frankie: just say 'anti-urban'
Alex: but that sounds like maybe it's racist, like you're saying "anti-turban"
Alex: which doesn't actually even mean anything
Frankie: lol
Frankie: i don't cotton to your headgear, sir
Alex: haha
Frankie: anyway
Frankie: i went on an internet date last night
Alex: whatttt
Alex: why are we talking for like 15 minutes about how to pronounce roofs???
Frankie: i was waiting for an opening
Alex: omg
Alex: how did it go?
Frankie: it was ok
Frankie: he was cool
Frankie: he was like an on-paper boyfriend
Alex: oh man
Alex: those are the worst in a way
Frankie: like, "hey, you like improv! and you worked at a company that literally sounds exactly like the one i used to! and we have the same sense of humor!"
Frankie: "you listen to this american life"
Alex: what??
Alex: he sounds great!
Alex: oh i guess that's the point
Frankie: he was!!
Frankie: but i did not want to make out with him at all
Frankie: good convo though
Frankie: re: books, movies, etc
Alex: well that's good!
Alex: maybe a new friend
Frankie: right
Frankie: but then i did the thing which i always do
Frankie: and just sort of ran away at the end to avoid some sort of awkward goodbye
Frankie: like, "oh, look, it's the L... peace out"
Frankie: [run]
Alex: welcome to.... what i do every day of my life that i'm on a date
Alex: which is not very many days
Frankie: but then of course it is awkward anyway
Alex: of course
Alex: especially if he gets on the train with you and you have to pretend you don't see him because you already said goodbye
Alex: aw-kward!!
Frankie: LOL
Frankie: i tried explaining the on-paper boyfriend concept to my friend will from high school
Frankie: boys do not get the on-paper thing
Frankie: he was like, "wait, what's the problem?"
Frankie: and i was like, "you're a dude"
Alex: well
Alex: i don't know if i'd get an on-paper girlfriend
Alex: because i think i've been a good on-paper girlfriend for people before
Alex: and i was like "i don't get it, go out with me"
Frankie: i am a perpetual on-paper girlfriend
Alex: we need to abolish this

After a brief silence....the Missed Connection returns...for me at least

commodities grocery - 8 pm - bright blue eyes and frozen pizza banter - w4m - 25

you: dirty blonde curly hair, camel jacket, headphones and bright blue eyes
me: ponytail with headbands, blue wool coat, straight from the gym & lookin' a hot mess

You found me kneeling before the freezer scouring through the Amy's frozen pizzas. You needed to get by and looked down at me. I scrambled to my feet, pressing myself against the glass so you could squeeze by. "Those things are addictive," you said. "Tell me about it!" I said, the evidence in hand, "You start with one and then it's just a downward spiral." You laughed. You were so cute. You wandered off and I went for coffee, but couldn't find the coffee bags. I turned the corner and saw you getting granola or nuts out of the bulk section (adorable). "Do you know where they keep the coffee bags?" I asked. You pulled your headphones down and said, "Sorry I don't drink coffee." "Oh!" I exclaimed as if shocked. "I guess the pizza is all we will share," I said as I turned the other corner. You followed behind me and as you walked away, you said "We'll always have Paris." I laughed. By the time I made it to the checkout, you were gone. I wish you could have stayed to chat. If we share the love of the same organic frozen pizzas and an affinity for old movies, then I am sure there is more to explore. And if not, we could at least exchange recipes.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

He's Just Not That Into You and Now Everyone Knows It

Look what else popped up on ye olde internets today!

I found this blog awhile back while doing research to make sure no one else had created a blog with the same idea as ours and I've been an avid, although silent, reader ever since. The writer of this blog posted a dating ad on craigslist, received 119 responses, went on almost 30 dates, and has written about all of them. Some were weird, some were sad, some were funny and none of them really panned out but it's been interesting to follow her through these experiences.

Anyway, she wrote this today:
"It all finally just clicked. They are just not that into me."

I am so glad that she's had this realization because some of these posts have pained me, to tell you the truth. Some of these men were exhibiting classic "he's just not that into you" signs and yet she would message them the second she got home from a date, would invite them out after they blew her off, etc. Today's post prompted a huge sigh of relief.

I understand that a lot of people think it's disempowering to admit that someone may not be into them but I actually think it's the opposite. To be able to say "I'm a fantastic person with a full, rewarding life and I'm not going to waste my energy on someone who doesn't get that" is incredibly empowering for me. It allows me to make my life about me and about the people who care about me and not about the people who don't return my phone calls.


Ok, I know that this is just boring now but Little Napoleon just texted me AGAIN. I am really tempted to use the "This is Rodrigo, who are you trying to reach?" tactic. Although that will spell out certain doom for my email inbox. Curses!

From: LN
To: Alex

Hey. Hows ur schedule this week? Want to finally meet up?

Do You Think T-Rex Reads This Blog?

!!Update!! Part Fin

This shall be the last installment of the Ponytail Gym Guy saga. The collective readership (and fellow bloggers) can breathe a sigh of relief because I know you are tired of hearing about him. I am even a little tired (of hearing about him that is- not of drooling over him- that has yet to seem passé). Anyway, after our non-awkward banter by the water fountain, our relationship has only continued to flourish as we saw each other twice over the weekend- Friday night and Sunday afternoon. He approached me both times making me feel like any sense of residual creepiness on my end had long since subsided. We talked about what we did for Halloween, weekend plans and general chit chat. It was fine conversation, but I couldn't help hearing the words of my good friend Cheri in my head as we talked (Cheri: Have fun, talk with him and see what comes of it- but just think to yourself - 'Would this guy be nearly as interesting to talk with if he weren't so hot?'). My friends are basically brilliant. In short, he probably wouldn't be as interesting, however I do not feel the need to make this anything more than what it is- a gym crush with occasional non-awkward banter. I mean it's a story as old as time really. Girl sees Boy from across the room. Girl writes missed connection on craigslist. Boy finds it and emails Girl super hot pic. Girl approaches Boy hawkwardly in "business caz." Girl and Boy banter at the gym. Girl continues to fantasize about Boy, but decides he probably wouldn't be as interesting without the hot bod.

So there you have it. The finale to a long and treacherous journey. It's been fun, but it's time to put Ponytail to bed. Figuratively that is. If that actually happens than I will reopen this topic for discussion...obviously.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Your New Bible

In response to various recent conversations about men who are "in a relationship", "bad with email", "hindu", etc., I decided that it's time for Misconnecting in the City's first Book Club Brunch. My thought is that we all read the same relationship-related book and then talk about how true/hilarious/offensive it is. I ordered six copies of That Book That Everyone Loves to Hate Until They Finally Read It and Then Are Converted.

That's right, the Bible.

No, not that Bible. This Bible.

Anyway, your copies are in the mail and will be here in a week or two. You can probably read the whole thing one day while your nails are drying, it's a very quick read. And then we can dish about it! On the blog! Together! Genius!